Horrible. Another reason not to have sex with just anyone, and if you have to... Wrap it up bro.

Earlier this year I had a relationship with a guy I mistakenly trusted. I don't want to get into it because it upsets me a lot, but the short and short of it is, he told me he was clean, he was actually HIV positive, and now I am too because I felt safe enough not to use a condom with him during our relationship together.

I found out because I got what I thought was the flu, but it hit me so, so hard. I went to the ER twice. The first time they gave me fluids and some meds for my massive headache and sent me home. The second time I had a fever of 103 and they didn't have any beds and wouldn't for hours so I said fuck it and decided I'd rather die/go braindead in the comfort of my own bed. Two and a half weeks later I was still having fevers over 101 and couldn't get out of bed except to pee. A rash like chicken pox that didn't itch covered my entire body including my palms and my liver enzymes went off the chart. A month later after more tests and head scratching by a team of doctors, they finally diagnosed me with syphillis (stage 3) and HIV.

I took it in stride and went to therapy, took my new meds, and now my viral load is undetectable. My CD4 levels are normal (that means my immune system is working normally). Honestly the treatment for the syphillis was the worst. Three rounds of huge shots of penicillin in my butt, one in each ass cheek each time. I would be so sore it would be hard to drive out of the parking lot.

Life is pretty much the same, all except for I can't donate blood anymore and I had to unregister from the bone marrow registry. Also I avoid this man like it's my job. I don't shop at the grocery store he works at. I don't go to the park he lives near. I do a double take every time I see an older guy dressed in black on a bike now. I tried reporting him to the police but there's nothing they could do for me because my governor changed the laws recently to reduce prison crowding.

Few people close to me know I'm positive. I haven't even told my dad even though he asked me point blank when I was really sick and I just lied even though he's a doctor himself and would love me all the same. I just don't want him to worry, or to have to be burdened with knowing someone hurt me giving it to me, or if I leave that part of the story out for him to think I was reckless with my own health. But not telling him weighs on me too.

EDIT: I tried to report him. It's not clear whether he knew he was infected and lied or he just never got tested and said he was clean instead of saying "I don't know because I've never been tested." The laws were changed so that theres no legal recourse because it's a misdemeanor not a felony so police can't get his medical records and he won't hand them over voluntarily. I tried to find a lawyer to take my case but no one would take it. I reported him to the health department too when I got diagnosed because he ghosted me as soon as I told him he infected me.