I still firmly believe that the majority of men's problems with women lies in codependency tendencies. I've outlined below basic responses you can work on in everyday life that will help build your resistance to such. Practice it on everyone. Including women. But the more you do it the more you will realize that people, in general, will respect you. Stop placation at it's root and I promise you will do more for your frame than anything recommended here on TRP. These examples may seem simple and redundant but I intentionally wanted to not guide you directly with women but for you to see the overlying pattern you can change as a whole with all interpersonal interaction.

The Broken Record This technique is simply stating what you want (or don't want) in a calm direct manner like a broken record as many times as necessary. This is especially effective when the other person tries to change the subject or take it in another direction. Just keep repeating what you want. "I'd like to return this jacket and would like my money back."

Fogging This works best when someone is being critical of you or giving so-called 'constructive criticism'. Rather than get defensive or attack back, you agree with part of the criticism (some of it's probably true) but not all of it. And you do it in a calm quiet tone of voice without being defensive or attacking back. Agreeing with someone throws them off as they don't expect it and have nothing to spar with. eg. Mom: "If you cut your hair it would be more stylish." You: "You could be right, shorter hair is in style now."  Fogging is especially useful in situations where you want to minimize communication and don't want to listen to criticism or get drawn into a pointless argument.

Fogging techniques may seem unassertive and like giving in and going along with the other person. But the exact opposite is true. We don't have to 'win' the argument or convince the other person we're right and they're wrong. Sun Tzu in The Art of War defines victory as "the attainment of one's objective." So if what we want is a little peace and quiet and the way to get that is by using fogging, then that's a victory.

Refusing Guilt People will often use self-pity or guilting to manipulate us into doing what they want. Our request or refusal is met with tears or "poor me" to make us feel guilty. Why do people use it? Simple. Because it works as it exploits our genuine niceness and compassion. Here's what I say about guilting. It's a business transaction which has two things: a seller and a buyer. The seller is the person using guilt to manipulate us, the buyer is the person the seller is trying to manipulate. So, like buying a used car, we have to be smart consumers. We can take out our wallet and buy the guilt or recognize that's a lemon and keep our wallet in our pocket. The best strategy is to acknowledge the other person is upset and then stick to our position. "I know this is inconvenient for you but you'll have to make other arrangements for someone to watch your kids after school."

SET This last technique is also effective dealing with self-pity or guilting. It expresses support and empathy and, most importantly, sets clear boundaries with what you're willing to do or not do.

S=Support, letting the other person know you are supportive and will help them any way you can within reason.

E=Empathy (not sympathy). Expressing that you understand what they're thinking, feeling, where they're coming from.

T=Truth. This is where you draw the line and set the boundaries.

An example. A co-worker is upset when you tell them you can no longer give them a ride to and from work. They play on our sympathy, maybe even play the guilt card to make us give in and change our mind. Our response: "Mike, I've always been there for you, helped you out when your car was repossessed (Support); I know this is hard for you, you're worried about how you'll make arrangements for getting to and from work (Empathy). But you are on a bus route that goes right to our office and there's a car pool list posted in the break room. So I can give you a ride 'til the end of the month and then you'll have to make other arrangements." (Truth)

This is where boundaries are set.

Conclusion

These aren't by any means all the assertiveness techniques to overcoming codependency but they're good ones that with a little practice can be helpful in not letting others manipulate and take advantage of you. One important thing to remember when you start being more assertive. People, especially women, may increase their efforts to manipulate you. That's only because what they've always done is no longer working. Don't become discouraged. It's a sign that what you're doing is working.

I post this because I'm tired of overly macho based posts trying to explain these simple steps. Putting into play these simple principles in all aspects of your interpersonal relationships will be far more beneficial in developing frame in the long run. Let's not be clouded by such things and in turn make tangible efforts towards becoming a truly independent man.