I broke up with my ex in June and I was angry. Angry at the idea of relationships, angry that my whole life I've been lied to (mainly about the fact that women are angelic things that have low sex-drives - so you can imagine my surprise when I constantly refused my ex because my libido is practically non-existent), angry that all the time I've put into all that shit meant nothing and I had no return of investment AT ALL.

I started browsing r/MGTOW before breaking up with her. I'm not out of the red pill rage, but something has changed. I take it for what it is. Where I live, it's impossible to be MGTOW in the traditional sense of the Western MGTOWs. So let me explain:

- where I live (Romania) you can easily find women who want to build something with you. Anecdotal proof is not the best, but I know a hardworking couple who own a restaurant. Both him and her pour their hearts and souls into the business and that's something that's the norm over here.

- the family courts are not fucked and the laws are fair

- the standard of living is comfortable all around and the prices are low

- the country is mainly Christian and adheres to the cultural values that come with Christianity

So this means that basically, finding a good woman would be good here, right? And that's true. A relationship is less of a hassle than in other places.

However, a relationship is still a hassle. When I ran the cost-benefit analysis of the whole deal I felt bad because it looked like I'd make my life more complicated rather than easy. Surely not everything can be as dark, can it? I couldn't come to terms with the fact that I'm not fit for a relationship not because I can't commit, but because I like being alone, I get drained by social interaction and small talk, I cannot, for the love of everything, share a bed with someone and I lack any sexdrive whatsoever.

And recently it dawned to me that yes, women as a group are just that - a hassle. Even if they are good, even if they dedicate their own time and resources to build something with you, you have to do the same in the name of fairplay. Every week or so, fellow men come here and claim they feel purple-pilled and don't know where they stand. Try thinking it like this - if you do find your unicorn, your NAWALT, is it worth pouring your time, resources, well-being into a relationship with a woman who would do the same or do you value your self-worth, alone time and needs above any possible advantage a relationship could provide? Generalizing that an entire sex is like that is too much for me and acting on that generalization would drive me insane because I tend to be paranoid. But acknowledging the fact that NAWALTs can exist and are out there and still not giving a fuck could save you in the long run.

I just wanted to vent. If you made it this far, thanks for giving this ramble a read.