Sometimes you gotta use your head.

So I never really talk to my neighbors. One of them went to prison for banging his 14 year old neice (lol). So we don't talk much. I think his wife just took him back and everything though.

The other Is some couple, and my other neighbors are asshoeles. Hate them. They cut down some trees on my land without asking, etc.

I'm smoking a joint, outside by my car. I'm in a good mood because some laptops sold. She comes, and looks at me.

Now, I'm a pretty big guy. Tall, wide shoulders, muscular, veiny. The kind of guy that looks like he should be up for a fight.

But I'm not. I prefer to stay alive so I can keep living it up never giving a fuck.

why fight for no reason?

She's twirling her hair, giving me lots of IOIs, and then points to some car in her drive way and says she came home and door was open and this strange car is in my driveway and im scared can you come with me.

Now my first thought?

You're getting fucking robbed lady, don't look at me.

My second thought?

Why don't call the fucking police, make them work for once in their lives.

What the fuck? Why you bothering me lady? What's gonna happen, we're gonna go in there and kick the shit out of him?

I just remembered this story because I was at a bar and there was some other big fucker, and his girl was flirting with me trying to get us to fight.

Bitches, be crazy.