Originally a comment on someone else's post. You want to figure out what is good in life? Bitch I got yo back.

What is the good life? To be happy. What is happiness? It is different things at different times to different people, but we all agree that regular sex, good health, adequate wealth, good friends close and casual, and healthy self-esteem don't hurt one bit.

How do you attain the good life? You must be excellent in life. What does it mean to be excellent in life? It is to have the habits, knowledge, wisdom, ability, and will to make a good life for yourself.

Look around you; you will find many examples of people lacking in one or another. The old man learning how to use a smartphone has wisdom, but no knowledge. The enthusiastic teenager has ability and will, but neither habit nor wisdom.

And what of good and bad? Things are generally best at some point in between two extremes. It is good to be confident, not arrogant nor meek. It is good to be brave, not foolhardy nor cowardly. Sometimes it is better to be cocky, other times humble. It is a matter of practical wisdom, judgement in the thick of it, to determine which is the best course.

Why don't we think this way? Thanks to millennia of self-denying religions, we have come to see good and bad as absolutes. You must cast off the notion of absolutes before you can lead any sort of good life.

How do you get better at determining what's good and bad? You experience good and bad things. Learn from the actions and mistakes of others. Judge, allow yourself to change your mind, move on and improve.

How do you get better at doing things? You practice them. Confidence is like a muscle; you have to continuously use it. Some are born with it, but for most- and for the greatest among us- it is practiced. So it is for every good trait. It must be trained, honed, kept alert and ready.

Now we have a better picture of the good life. It is being able to determine what is best for you, making sure you are able and willing to carry it through, then actually doing it. It involves your entire being: knowledge, preferences, reactions, experience, physical ability, habits, social connections.

The original poster lacked something that most people do, so I'll repeat it here. Your plan to become a better person. What are you lacking? Inner confidence. You err on the side of meekness. You don't trust your instincts. You have a VP's responsibilities but, I bet, neither a VP's pay nor clout.

What do you have going for you? Deviousness. Intelligence. Loyalty, steadfastness, perseverance, and a view to the long term.

What does this mean? You will not be able to protect the things you love when push comes to shove and shit hits the fan. You do not have the assertiveness.

How do you fix that? Exercise your instincts. Trust them. Do something that requires confidence, keep doing it, measure your progress, and live up to it.

I refuse to leave people without a concrete plan. What worked for me? Stone cold approach. Completely sober. No lines memorized. Walk up, say hi, first thing that comes to mind. Eventually you get good at establishing an easy rapport built on nothing but whatever you are comfortable talking about.

What else worked for me? Physical activity. Lifting, but also diving, rock climbing, and hiking. Know what you can do and what you can push your body to. Never let yourself get comfortable. Always push your lifts. Get ever higher. Be comfortable under pressure.

Now you have two of three components- self-knowledge and self-confidence. You still need to be able to assert your will on others. This is the hardest part, because there are relatively few opportunities in life that allow you to do this without negative consequences. Team sports are great but not always feasible given time / scheduling. So practice it in your personal life. Don't allow people to insult you unpunished- kick them out. Don't step out of the way of strangers when you have right of way- look them in the eye and stand your ground.

Your life lacks something. Identify it, form a plan, practice it every day and remind yourself what you seek to become.

Welcome to being a man. Your life is your responsibility, and yours alone.