This is a a little crazy, so just bear with me please.

I'm very conservative about sex. I'm a pretty tame young guy, I never really do anything crazy. I've watched every female in my life basically become a caricature of what mgtow describes, like many of you, and got fed up. Mother, girlfriends, close girl-friends, other family, I've seen horrible, manipulative, self-centered behavior from all of them with zero checks and balances. This is what led me to find trp and mgtow like 5-ish years ago.

So I've kept my head down and bettered myself, and still I get shit on in life constantly for basically just being an introverted guy. It's a death sentence. I finally got bitter and decided I wanted to get the having no sex thing for a long time thing out of the way. I'm only human, and so I decided I would just pay an expensive escort.

Well, turns out you need to be with two low quality escorts to even qualify for time with a high quality one. There's girls who do work info and all that jazz, but as a college student that doesn't really work for me. So I decided I'd go online and find an asian massage with "hotter girls".

Find one that has a good reputation in my city. I go, girl walks in and looks fantastic (in dim lighting, body is objectively great though), get massage, flips me over and offers me blow job, I say yes (for probably a little too much money, but my mind was set and I just needed to get this out of the way). She sucks just past the head of my penis for 1-2 mins and I blow a load on her chest. She offers more massage but I'm already feeling kind of bad about what I did and say no thanks. She turns the light on and looks a bit older than she first appeared, although not too old. She had a small yellow pimple well under her lip and chapped lips, and immediately I freak out even more.

I'm feeling really at odds with myself. I go home and wash my penis with axe body wash (bad idea, has citric acid and other harsh chemicals), which I don't normally do but I was just paranoid, so I was very generous in rubbing it into the head of my penis and even around the tip.

The next few days I'm having all sorts of anxiety (I have a lot of anxiety disorders), but then it starts to burn for the entire day at the tip after peeing. This isn't too concerning because I realized that the axe was probably a horrible idea, but I also began having symptoms of a fever (never checked with thermometer) that went away a few days later. My penis head became irritated and dry looking, nothing too crazy honestly, but slight discoloration and anxiety made me freak out.

Went to the doctor after a full week and did all of the STD testing including hsv testing, and even urged them to check for uti because of the burning even though it was at the tip only. I came back clean.

My penis is still kind of irritated at a little over two weeks, and I'm still nervous about the second test I'm going to take in a few weeks, but I mostly just wanted to open up a conversation about this type of thing and chances of std's, etc. Also if anyone has ever had experience messing up their junk with soap or anything harsh like this, please feel free to share experiences. Since its been two weeks I'm a bit paranoid that it's dragging on longer than it should, but I'm probably psyching myself out.

Again, sorry for posting this here, but other subs that are more medically based just basically told me I'm a piece of shit, or told me herpes wasn't a big deal and to chill, which isn't really what I need right now even if they're right.

Thanks for reading if you got all the way through this shit show.