So, I hit up a prostitute today. The email exchange was... Interesting.

She wanted to know more about me and why I was contacting her. My response was pretty vague, but along the lines of "my hand is getting old". I couldn't keep this gold to myself...

HER RESPONSE

I am not an alternative to your hand job. I am a woman of class. I am not interested 

MY RESPONSE

A woman of class who sells her body? Right. Whatever you tell yourself to make yourself feel better.

A woman of class would find one man and give herself only to him... But you don't do that, do you?

You've made sex into a transaction (money for sex) yet you're offended that your client would have the audacity to actually state this.

You realize that all you are to men are a masturbation aid. You'll never be anything more than that. And asking your clients to pretend that you are anything more is pathetic.

EDIT FOR MORE:

HER

That's why you fuck yourself 

ME

Next time a man is cuming inside of you, ask yourself if he'd still be buying time with you if you didn't have a pussy.

The answer is no. And trying to shame me for fulfilling my primary urges is far more pathetic than taking advantage of those urges for money.

Have fun when father time takes your body, because that's all you have to offer.

FINAL EDIT:

I must have really gotten under her skin because her last email told me that she's got friends on the police force that she'd have fuck me up.

Classy as fuck! Damn I really missed out. I'm gonna go walking in self-pity now.