AITA for recounting my (22M) gf's (22F) best friend's (21F) sexually explicit encounters in front of her new boyfriend to spite her?

1,016 points•183 comments•submitted by Ahh_drats to r/AmItheAsshole

Definitely not as dramatic as most of the other posts here but for context, my girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year. Prior to us dating she had been away on a semester abroad together with her best friend and subsequently they went travelling together after (8 months away total). However before she went away we had been exclusive for about 3 months but decided we weren't going to do long distance but stayed in close contact during this time and maintaining a good relationship. Furthermore we had agreed to effectively hide social media evidence from each other of us seeing other people to protect each other's feelings (my idea). Lastly its worth mentioning I never really felt that uncomfortable learning or hearing about my girlfriend's exes before we met, but hearing about stuff she did while she was away does get under my skin.

Following her and her best friend's time away we got back together straight away. However at every possible opportunity her best friend will tell everyone about all the sexually explicit details of every encounter my girlfriend had while she was away (both when its just us 3 up to groups of 15 of our friends). Now I was never under the impression that she wouldn't be seeing other guys and nor am I going to pretend I didn't see anyone either. However, I made it very clear to my girlfriend that I had no interest in knowing about what she got up to while she was away because I find it upsetting. I have made it clear to on a number of times to my girlfriend's best friend I find hearing about that sort of stuff upsetting both when alone with her, but particularly in front of all our friends friends.

So about a month ago my girlfriend's best friend introduced her new bf to our social group. He is a nice enough guy who I don't have anything against. Now my girlfriend's best friend has a pretty extensive and colourful sexual history. Initially, it was never my intention to bring up some of these stories in front of her new boyfriend but as per usual we are all hanging out and she starts talking about 5 minutes worth of stories about my girlfriend I'd rather not hear. So I snapped. I replied along the lines of "ahah yea, that's kinda of like the time you..." and proceeded to make some pretty graphic references. Sure enough she pretty taken back by that and while the group laughed it off at the time. I get told by my girlfriend the next day that was totally not cool and her best friend is very upset with me. Ultimately, while I feel so petty, I have to say it felt great to finally give her a taste of her own medicine.

UPDATE: Points to commonly asked questions

  1. GF gets upset with best friend for doing this but only seems to spur her on.
  2. I think best friend likes me but not sure (is generally chatty and friendly outside of interactions described above).
  3. Not implausible gf's best friend is keen on her. One story is they had a threesome with a guy. Also maybe relevant I had one night stand with best friend before dating gf (which she said she had no problem with/knew before we started dating)
  4. Outcome 48 hours on, GF angry at me for potentially ruining friends relationship (never had long term boyfriend before) but ultimately on my side. Best friend still very upset at me and says I was serious when she was only ever joking and her comments never affected my relationship (not true).
  5. Ultimately I feel AITA but don't I think I could have reacted differently given how upset I was but could have not put myself in that position by refusing to hang out with her as some have mentioned. Not apologising but do feel bad for affecting some else's relationship