I'm an incel but I don't hate women

1 point25 commentssubmitted by AggressiveShape to r/confessions

NOTE: I'm using incel in the most literal form, as in "involuntarily celibate", I am not and have never been a part of communities specifically labelling themselves as "incel"

I'm an incel but I don't hate women. To my knowledge none of my friends or family even know I am one.

I have a normal social life. I'm not ugly, and according to some people I'm even somewhat attractive physically. I'm at college and play sports, if you saw me in the street you'd never match me to the kind of things I'm saying in this post. I even have a relatively large social media following, and male friends often remark how "I must be getting so many girls" because of how many pictures I'm tagged in on social media with girls around me.

But in reality, I'm an incel. I'm involuntarily celibate, I desperately crave relationships and intimacy but can't get it no matter how hard I try. I can't get any woman to pay attention to me in a romantic way. I don't know why but girls just don't seem romantically interested in me at all, I never get flirted with and girls never speak to me in anything other than friendly and platonic ways. The few times I've asked out girls I've always been rejected. Every time a girl seems to be flirting with me it always turns out that I've misread the situation, and usually they have a boyfriend, and I was just imagining that they were into me. As a result my self-belief is at rock bottom, I just dont believe it is even possible for girls to be attracted to me anymore.

I feel no connection to the beliefs peddled by "incel communities" online however. I don't hate women, and I find the right-wing garbage peddled by most "incels" to be disgusting and pathetic. Personally I am left-wing and would describe myself as a feminist. But at times this situation can be difficult and depressing for me, because people in my circles have referred to "incels" and poked fun at them, and sometimes I think "would they hate me or make fun of me if they knew I was involuntarily celibate?"

I don't really know what to do at this point. I feel like I've tried everything and still no girls are attracted to me. I try to stay positive and happy but it's getting more and more difficult with each passing day, I feel like I will literally never find a girl who is attracted to me at this point.