A writing prompt was sent in to me by one of the Heirs recently. He writes, "Self criticism. How much is healthy, when does it become too much or how is it linked to depression. Please provide examples/situations."

Let's Go:

criticism |ˈkridəˌsizəm| noun 1 the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes: he received a lot of criticism | he ignored the criticisms of his friends. 2 the analysis and judgment of the merits and faults of a literary or artistic work: alternative methods of criticism supported by well-developed literary theories. • the scholarly investigation of literary or historical texts to determine their origin or intended form.

self-criticism |ˌselfˈkridəˌsizəm| noun criticism of oneself or one's actions: their need to engage in introspection and self-criticism

There is a context of self-criticism that lends to greater attention. If we were to never critique something in the world then we would never be able to improve the thing which we attempt to show. An artist must criticize their work in order to build further versions that are incrementally better. The sculptor often has multiple attempts at statues before a final version goes on display. An athlete has no doubt worked hundreds of hours with thousands of attempts to perfect one maneuver. So what about ourselves? Are we not a project that needs constant work? I say yes, and I would say the mind that does not get involved in self-criticism will not only delay self-improvement, but having an attitude of "Everything is fine and perfect" will eventually lead to a mediocre life and existence.

Understanding Healthy Criticism

To demand a certain standard from a business is not unusual. Consumers often expect a certain level of professionalism when spending hard-earned money on a service. Likewise with ourselves—whether it be the body or mind—we need to establish a standard operating procedure in order to evolve to our greatest potential. Without standards we will slowly go backwards and the mind will turn weak as we let education, fitness, morals and virtue disappear. To quote from Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, "For moral virtue or excellence is closely concerned with pleasure and pain. It is pleasure that moves us to do what is base, and pain that moves us to refrain from what is noble. And therefore, as Plato says, man needs to be so trained from his youth up as to find pleasure and pain in the right objects. This is what sound education means."

Let's go back to the cliche words from Socrates, "An unexamined life is not worth living." Examining ourselves then becomes what makes a life worth living. And doesn't this standard of observation seep out from other great examples of human experience? In order to compete in any sport one must be observed, criticized and improved in order for an athletic body to express itself. For every military training exercise there are commanding officers overseeing and making sure the soldiers are fit for war. Teachers are the foundation of every school and provide an environment for students to develop their growing minds through reflection, introspection and study. The examples are endless.

But what is the down-side to criticism and self-examination? Of course when we take this principle out of balance and out of context we turn a helpful tool into a weapon of destruction.

The Unhealthy Sides of Self-Criticism

Perspective is the key concept when it comes to judgment. One must hold a proper perspective or overview in order to be able to see the situation appropriately. Depression will result when expectations or standards are too high for the given amount of experience and training for the goal. A young boy looking at himself in the mirror is naturally going to criticize his body, especially as peer pressure develops in high-school. Nothing is inherently wrong with staying in shape and wanting a better form—so long as one is willing to put in the work to achieve a realistic form. Without a healthy diet and exercise regiment, the young boy only creates fantasy and sets expectations out of range; this is especially true with cross comparisons of other people. If we strive to be our best, and not the best of someone else, then the goal becomes approachable.

Likewise if a young girl who practices gymnastics sees a professional in competition perform a routine that has taken decades to perfect and wants to immediately perform the same routine there is going to be some confusion, disappointment and anger at not achieving what someone else has done. This is where the coach comes in and reminds the young gymnast to start at doing her own routine better and slowly improving as she ages and develops herself as the years go on.

The solider can also lose sight of how far to push and end up in a fatal situation. Wanting to take over too much ground too quickly, and also not using a proper chain of command, can lead an entire group of soldier forces into a battleground they can't control. The will to succeed and the attitude of "take no prisoners" performed without intelligence, proper training protocols and planning can easily cause problems.

Depression results when our unreachable goals are not met, and the real trouble began by setting those goals to unachievable heights. If we want to run a marathon, we have to speak to an experienced coach and learn about the hardship one endures—both physically and mentally—before beginning. There's nothing wrong with a fantastic goal or dream, but we must seek wisdom from others to receive the proper dose of reality. That doesn't mean we cannot achieve what we want, and often times humans are able to break the limits of what we once thought was capable, but in order to achieve levels of greatness there must be some level of one pointedness and determination. The young man can achieve his ideal body type, the young gymnast can become her greatest potential, the soldier is absolutely able to move a war forward with willpower and drive—but it all must begin with intelligent cooperation to the laws of the situation, the wisdom of experience and the reality of hardship. The greater the goal, the more one must give up in order to achieve.

The fast pace lifestyle we all tend to live now almost always brings with it a rush to succeed beyond ones own abilities. The teachers, drill sergeants, coaches, parents, professors or anyone maintaining a leadership role over someone else has a constant job to remind the student of the overview. The day to day grind gets overwhelming just enough to throw us off balance and our mind will magnify a weakness and not backup or slow down in order to gain perspective. Realizing that we are on our own path, on our own pace and dealing with what we have available to us will then become our greatest lesson in detachment. Once we have the understanding and maturity to hold this perspective all the time, we can then begin to inspect ourselves in a positive way.

Forging a New Path

Let's now take what I've outlined and turn it back on ourselves. We have to move forward from this moment on with balance, moderation or temperance, and remember the mountaintop perspective—that's our view of the world from the highest point we can find. Don't myopically stare into an issue or weakness all the time, look past yourself and into the future. You're never going to guess what I say next: Forget about this whole moderate attitude and work your ass off into you bleed from the knuckles.

Micdrop.

From one paradigm you can slowly work at your vision of your best self. You can make small goals and inch your way to putting this life puzzle together: one step at a time. Or you can push and push and push your might into the ground and crack the earth in half. If I were to say you must be balanced and moderate then I'd be teaching you something I've never done. I push myself so far into obsession and fury that most men would start crying if they lived in my body. I'm attempting to live the life of a civilian Navy Seal and I'm never going to go easy on myself. I have a high, almost unreachable, standard and no day is ever good enough to please me. I can always do better, even at my best.

You can take this approach but chances are you aren't tough enough. Let's go over how you can safely achieve this.

Waking up early

Your life would need to begin before the sun rises, each and every day. There are no days off. There is no slack. If your alarm goes off then you get your ass out of bed and enjoy the hours you have alone and at peace. Believe me, the morning routine will save your life. For moderation you would start by waking up 15 minutes earlier than you normally do. For about one week at a time you would shift that waking time and work on a 5 day adjustment period, then another 15 minutes earlier the next week.

My way: My way would mean you choose a time to wake up, and you wake the hell up. No kidding around or wasting weeks as you attempt to avoid your goal and slowly transition. If you are used to waking up at 6am and you now want to wake up before the enemy—around 4am—then you set your alarm and WAKE UP. Get your coffee, be alone and start some routine. I will post my morning routine in another post.

Eat right

For a nice slow and moderate transition you would change your diet one day at a time. Instead of getting fast food every other day, you would reduce that window by one day a week. Instead of 3 McDonald's a week you are now at 2, then 1, then once a week, once every other week, once a month, etc. OR with my way you just stop eating crap because you know better. You're an adult, or at least you are trying to be one, learn how to cook and stop getting food where happy meals are served. Stop it.

Fitness

Everyone should be in shape. In fact I think the government should tax fat people until they get in shape. No human should be holding on to fat and have rolls of extra skin and adipose tissue. You could slowly transition into a routine that works for your schedule and ease into it. OR you could just stop eating crap and get in shape by training outside or in a gym every single day. Either you lift weights 3 times a week and walk 10,000 steps a day. Or you run every other day and lift weights twice a week, whatever. Just don't have the idea that you can actually take an off day. There is no slack in my method.

I think by now you get the idea. Or you are so confused that you are contemplating another, more easier way to go in life. The trouble with the slow and moderate way is that eventually you will stop your warpath and you will slide back into the old way you used to live. Often times the mind needs a radical shift in thinking to stop and reshape itself to a new life. That's just the way the clay-like mind is. In Aristotle's model of moderation he actually says to overshoot yourself and push into obsession. He believes that Man will end up falling somewhere close to the middle the more we overshoot our goal-path. So I say obsess, grind and become a driving force that takes no prisoners...but there's a catch. There's actually a balanced way to do this: never speak about it and never compare yourself to anyone else.

Yup, once again your ideas of what to do tomorrow are rocked. Or you get it and are already setting your alarm clock to 4am.

Living this extreme life of self-critique, painful admiration for perfection and unholy goals of exhaustion can actually be done without anyone hearing you preach about it. Don't tell your friends or your mother—god please don't tell your mother she will worry for you. Don't recommend it to people outside of your circle of influence—that means people like the Heirs or other civilian soldiers who lift or train or get after it on a daily basis. Don't go around like a new vegan and tell everyone how great it is: they won't believe you for a second. Most people can't understand taking an already semi-challenging life and going full throttle hard as hell and getting harder. They just aren't conditioned that way. But you are different. You aren't doing this for approval of others, you aren't doing this because it feels good or is cool to be ashamed of yourself or your situation. You are not reading this article so that tomorrow is the same as today. No. You are ready for change, you can feel it. And I know you know what your weakness is. You have the motive, you just need to act on it.

The tipping point of depression and sadness from over criticism of oneself exists when the person doing the critique lacks the discipline to strive for more. There is a nihilist or incel-like attitude that says, "I'm going to whine and complain and I'm DEFINITELY not going to do anything about it." Self-improvement by means of self-criticism can only safely uplift one's situation if there's a motive to actually follow through with the corrections. If you are fat then change, if you are slow then get moving, if you are dumb then get reading and get smarter. There's a second part to that criticism, there's an actual solution to your weakness. And yes you have weakness, I have weakness, everyone can and should find out what that weakness is. And then...they should fix it.

But why? Because discipline equals freedom