Here is the trick to a happy, productive, life, post-divorce:

  • keep your expenses low...then cut them again and make them lower.
  • find affordable activities that give you joy
  • stay off the couch
  • make good male friends who work hard and enjoy life
  • educate yourself for free using internet resources like Khan Academy, youtube videos, technical videos by vendors, and even more.
  • choose an educational path where you develop skills that people will pay you for. You can learn a lot just online: stats, finance, programming, video production, design, video game development, investment strategies, accounting, technical writing, etc.
  • start your own business if possible. Become the master of your time so you can choose the most profitable activities
  • think of your life like you're building a building that's 40 stories high. Make progress every day towards building that building. Pour a foundation, build a frame, drywall, paint, add furniture, etc. Make progress every day....but don't expect fast results. Expectation is the death of motivation
  • build strong relationships with your family and friends. Call them. That's free.
  • Participate in activities that make you feel good. Take a bath. Read a book. Go hiking. Swim in open water. Write in a journal.
  • Cook your own food
  • Grow something
  • Keep yourself physically strong. You're a man. You should look like one. You should feel like one. Do some pushups....then do some more. Every man should be able to do five pullups.
  • Look for ways to contribute. Speak at a technical user group. Organize a neighborhood trash cleanup party. Go to community events. Help your dad paint his backyard fence. Help your buddy lay tile in his bathroom.
  • Fly to Tijuana once a year and blow some money on strippers.
  • Always wear a condom.
  • Spend more time sober than you think you should.
  • If you have children, don't miss any time with them. Go to the games, the plays, the piano recitals. Tell them you love them. Help them with their homework.
  • Get rid of most of your shit that you never use. Sell it, give it away, pair down. Never wear those shoes? Give them away. Never ride the dirtbike? Sell it. Never play those board games? Start a board game group or sell them. Possessions always cost money....get rid of them all.

​

I'm not saying this as some kind of moral compass. I'm saying this because I know where my happiness was found. I titled it my guide, since everyone is different.