Imagine you are being raped by ur cousin when you both were kids. Years later you develop a trauma and have fear from womans which don't let you talk freely to them and neither create relationships. She is close family so you don't want to bring problems to them, also you both were kids and kids do mistakes right?

Well this happened to me when I was 7yo. My uncle's house was in repairs so they were living with us and I was sleeping in the same bed with my 7yo cousin. First days was fun we used to play a card games in the bed but later on it was turning stranger. Lets say it ended a bad way but somehow, my brain deleted that part of memories for stright 10 years. When I started to remember what happened I started to realise that I've been raped. I didn't wanted to accept that and tryed to forget it somehow. But since I was 7 I never was able to establish a relationship with womans. I was scared from them always. Also when i was 8 a girl from my class almost leave me blind throwing book in my face because she though that I called her retard. Also when I was 11 other girl from my class kicked my balls with full strength just to win a bid. I was in the floor crying from the pain. All I can say right now is that having abusive relationships with girls in my childhood made me keep a big distance from the girls. Only woman I'm not scared from is my mom.

Also I'm using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.