DSo I’m at a place I go to and recently posted a stupid shit post about a divorced fish stripped to the bone.

Ok fine. Eat dinner, shit post, par for the course.

So when I go to this place I sit in the inner courtyard by a fountain. Lots of ferns, a fountain, natural sounds. Nice solitude.

So of course they sit a bunch of land whales (it’s a seafood place, so yeah) at a table near me. Jesus it’s annoying.

So far the (loud) conversation has included slobbering over Channing Tatum, someone’s “fuck over a husband in a divorce”, and some fat chick sleeping with a midget. And Game of Thrones. This just happened 5 seconds ago. FML.

Edit: now this is a field report since I’m on the scene. They’re complaining about their mothers “don’t really know them”. I had to order more vodka and an espresso.

Edit2: espresso and a land whale

Edit3: classic. One just said she needed alcohol for this conversation. I also need alcohol for this conversation.

Edit4: now they’re talking about how typical marriages have problems and you need to work through them. Seriously?

Edit5: oh sorry, the marriage problem was that the husband found her weed. O.k then. This is not a weed legal state btw. Apparently that is the problem. Apologies for the previous fake news.

Edit6: apparently Indica makes you feel your vagina and become super horny. I must not have smoked indica.

Edit7: One of the thots was talking about having a patreon account to supplement her relationship. O.k. then. I guess she’s making money “somehow”. Then she FaceTimed with her beau with the whole table (including me it seems) and turned into “good girl” mode.

Edit8: One just identified as a red neck lesbian to her adopted daughters?

Edit9: They’ve been talking endlessly about texting. I went to pee the alcohol out. They’re still discussing texting for ten fucking minutes. I can’t even follow the conversation because everyone is talking about texting simultaneously. Are they Italian?

Edit10: here’s a fountain I was enjoying

Edit11: now a conversation is about how much one of the fat thots smokes a lot of weed. And “sips” whiskey daily. As an alcoholic, I’m 50% with her.

Edit12: Now we’re discussing hair and giggling for reasons only known to women.

Edit13: now the issue has come out about men lying about their height, and actually mentioned a 6’ tall minimum. I swear I’m not making this up. One said “don’t you want to fuck tonight?” To a hog that wandered up. And she shut it down, because the oyster shucker is a super huge Chad with a groomed beard with 36” pythons, and I guess no one compares? Alright. Do they know he’s gay? I assume not.

Edit15: Also they all just bolted simultaneously, so this is probably end of this news segment.; we return you to your regular programming.

Edit16: gets a glass of a Pinot. Not good for a $150 dinner. Obviously I’m a cuck to the restaurant industry. Fill the fucking glass!

Edit17: more irrelevant updates!

Edit18: Sorry, I fell asleep, I got hit on by a fat thot, I made fun of her dress which she decided to flash her panties, and several servers and bartenders told me to run away, broke up two Tinder dates and got thrown out of the last bar because I was red-pilling a guy. Oh well. Cars are comfrotable!