Am I Just Hypergamous?

31 points•29 comments•submitted by lost_girl_thrown to r/RedPillWomen

Throwaway account.

We're all hypergamous by default but when does it stop being hypergamy and start being a lack of passion?

I love my boyfriend. This is the most serious relationship I've ever had and I can genuinely say I've never had this much chemistry with any other man before. But sometimes it feels as though we're more like companions than lovers.

The sex so far is pretty good but that's mostly due to our mutual efforts not to spontaneous, carnal attraction. He's just not really my type, but we just kinda clicked when we met so I let things go where they might go, and now we're together. As nice as the sex may be I cant help but fantasise about the sort of men im usually attracted to and I feel incredibly guilty for this. It's not even that I'm fantasising about 6'4 millionaire Alphas with 6 packs, the guys I usually go for are strong but a bit chubby, stocky (often shorter than me), hairy and most importantly masculine/dominant. It feels like a lot of this would be solved if my bf just acted more like my ideal man but hes rather insecure and dominance doesnt come naturally to him.

The fact my feelings towards him ebb and flow so much from wanting to adore and take care of him when we're together to fantasising about other men when we're apart only further confuses me.

Im sure many of you would just leave and get a more dominant/masculine man but the truth is that my RMV isnt very high, mostly due to a deformity/disability (the details of which I wont disclose so as to conserve anonymity), this may improve given some surgeries but by then ill be 24 at least. A part of me thinks I should just be lucky with what I can get.

I dont want to be a subpar girlfriend, or end up with a man I grow to resent nor do I want to let hypergamy run wild and potentially screw up my best chance at a happy marriage.

Edit: We're both 20 and nearing a year together as a couple.