Getting over my hatred.

2018-09-16T15:35:30+00:00

What you're calling hatred is a broken expectation. You expected to be honored or rewarded or simply thanked for your dedication and loyalty to one person. That person didn't meet your expectation. Your reaction is hatred. If you change the expectation, even retroactively, you can change the reaction.

When my ex filed for divorce, it tore me up for months. I finally was able to change the context from "why did she do this to me!" into "what am I going to do with all this free time!" Life's been good since.

flee_market · 2018-09-16T15:22:58+00:00

It is right and okay to feel betrayed and mistreated, but hating women for having the tendencies of women makes as much sense as hating tigers for pouncing on smaller creatures, or hating parrots for being noisy, or hating skunks for smelling.

It is in their nature. They did not choose it. If they had chosen it then yes it would make sense to hate them for it because they chose something destructive and harmful to the people around them.

But they didn't choose it, it was thrust upon them. And they will have differing levels of self-awareness about this nature of theirs, but each of them is, at the end of the day, attempting to fulfill perceived needs, just as we are.

They have their drives and their instincts just like we do.

We human beings bend over backwards to pat ourselves on the back about how EVOLVED and SOPHISTICATED we are, in reality we're ruled by our instincts a lot more than any of us are comfortable admitting.

And that is just as true for men. Our instincts are just different.

Hating men for those instincts also doesn't make any sense (looking at you feminists).

By all means, pity people who lack the self awareness to introspect about the reasons they do what they do, feel sad about the fact that most people are stuck in maladapted behavioral patterns, but don't hate them for it.

Given the choice, nobody would CHOOSE that.

urban_hermit91 · 2018-09-16T18:20:41+00:00

I experienced the same my brother. I think the source of the hatred was feeling lied to by all women. But 18 months later I'm hatred free just a happy guy living a chill life. Now when I look at women (and its encompassing BP society) I just see animals that are motivated by instincts... whatever not my fault nor is it my problem.

CiceroVoltaire · 2018-09-16T16:29:48+00:00

hate depletes your energy; and can consume you. so can anger.

as others have said, knowledge and understanding of their nature puts things in perspective.

I don't hate sharks for being or acting like sharks; nor do I get angry at sharks being sharks / acting like sharks.same for eastern diamondbacks.

we have both here, and stingrays.

In the last few years, I've saved several diamondbacks I've found on the roads here. I'd do the same if a shark or stingray washed ashore alive.

edit: but not jellyfish; jellyfish are annoying; even dead they can sting.

General_Fear · 2018-09-16T19:34:32+00:00

Guys who love women and guys who hate women are the same. Their focus is women and women get to live rent free in their mind. To truly be free is to be indifferent. When women don't even register on your mental radar, you will be free.

TenTen222 · 2018-09-16T16:52:17+00:00

Hatred is justified when you see injustice in the world

Just know that at very least, NAWALT when it comes to men's rights. There are women on men's side, mothers who don't want their step daughters screwing over their sons and never allowing her to see their grandchild

GoDuke2018 · 2018-09-16T17:22:16+00:00

Good, good ! I feel the anger in you , it flows through you. This is typical redpill rage most or all MGTOW experienced after swallowing the redpill. Never forget, if you are not Chad or Tyrone thundercocks you are just utility billybetabux atm

mgtow-zen · 2018-09-16T16:58:37+00:00

You must forgive them.

This may or may not be easy. You cannot forgive them while you are angry, however. So, vent the anger but do not legitimize it if you decide your anger is justified, you will keep it.

Feel the anger, but let it go. You don't want to keep it, and you don't have to

When I say forgive, I truly mean that. Learn to see them as completely innocent, just like yourself. If you are truly honest as you go through the process, you will find blotches of guilt, fear, abandonment, yada yada yada all blocking the way. Let these go too. Rather like cleaning graffiti off of your innocence. The key is to forgive them, when the process is complete you will see their innocence is quite literally your own. I realize you won't likely believe this until you experience it.

The hatred of women is not really what it appears to be. You don't hate women and you never will. This doesn't mean you won't experience pain, sometimes intense and symbolically see it in women though.

What helps me immensely is to see these bodies and characters as filling out roles. It's like emotion being expressed in this world through characters played out by actors.

Chances are we've all played out the role of "woman" in one lifetime or another, and it helps not to confuse the actor with the roles they play.

The actor is, and will forever remain totally and completely innocent, regardless of the script they play.

DanTheMGTOW · 2018-09-16T19:46:59+00:00

I am trying to figure out the way of how not to play into blaming women as a crutch for things I have failed to get done.

EffectiveEgg · 2018-09-16T19:00:36+00:00

Time heals all wounds. This trashing of your emotions is probably still relatively fresh in your mind, I inferred. Once you're a bit deeper into your MGTOW path (chasing your passions and hobbies, enjoying peace and solitude), you will essentially forget about it.

You'll realize how rejuvenating it is to have no one trashing your emotions, and begin to see it from a cost-benefit analysis perspective as you're desensitized to how you've been wronged over time. The costs incurred in dealing with women are gone now: your emotions aren't trashed, you aren't constantly invalidated and belittled, you keep the money you earn or spend it on yourself, your level of self-respect has grown.

You've cut costs, just like a business. I wouldn't say businesses "hate" costs - they're an essential element to generating revenue. But, they do everything they can to minimize them. Excess costs are viewed as a hurdle to their financial health.

As time has passed since I went MGTOW, I began to view it more and more like this: indifferent, desensitized. You won't hate women, you'll just view them as unnecessary, fully avoidable burdens in your life. Costs. You'll look back at these instances of disrespect and laugh at them, laugh at your past self for being a blue pilled fool who took that shit. Time is key.

PopCultureMGTOW · 2018-09-16T19:27:05+00:00

The red pill rage is definitely a real phenomenon and I hated my ex especially with a passion but in time you'll begin to use that emotion to become an even BETTER man. Oddly that makes you even more of a target for those wanting to monkey branch their way to you but THANKFULLY that last experience(s) prepares you to continue down your own path regardless of ploys the next group of women pull. Eventually there is no hatred, only an understanding of so many of them and the calm happiness that you feel knowing you won big time in the end.

deathtocontrollers · 2018-09-16T22:05:33+00:00

Learn to use this hatred to benefit you in life.

Jonlife · 2018-09-16T22:12:19+00:00

Incels walk around with a ton of false expectations. When you realize that you yourself are responsible for everything and it's no one's fault but your own in terms of being happy... Will you then stop being angry.

You found mgtow man, celebrate. You won. This is the finish line. Now pick up all the fucked up shit that you've been lugging around all these years and throw it out.

The next couple years will be spent house cleaning, from how you live to how you eat to who you decide surround yourself around.

bannerlord · 2018-09-17T11:07:38+00:00

From best of MGTOW archives

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side. The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman. Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey. The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

This simple Zen story has a beautiful message about living in the present moment. How often do we carry around past hurts, holding onto resentments when the only person we are really hurting is ourselves. We all go through times in life when other people say things or behave in a way that is hurtful towards us. We can chose to ruminate over past actions or events, but it will ultimately weigh us down and sap our energy. Instead we can choose to let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore and concentrate on the present moment. Until we can find a level of peace and happiness in the present circumstances of our lives, we will never be content, because ‘now’ is all we will ever have.

LiveTheTruth321 · 2018-09-16T19:01:36+00:00

Thinking about beating the shit out of women, knowing that I am well within my rights to do so.

Title	Getting over my hatred.
Author	choyhtya
Upvotes	47
Comments	27
Date	September 16, 2018 3:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9gbbfd/getting_over_my_hatred/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/getting-over-my-hatred.491280 https://theredarchive.com/post/491280

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