It appear the Apocalypse is on the horizon. Before the impending demise of a great thing we have here. I seek counsel withing ye all's fabled minds.

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This is another lengthy post I will include a (TL;DR) @ the end of the post.

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My Mother, is whom we will be speaking of today.

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Like most women of today's society, she was a stay at home mom who didn't have a job or any other responsibilities other than raising me and my siblings. My father is obviously the bread winner all these years and took care of her and us while growing up. That means putting long hours to provide for her and us as children growing up. He would work his ass off, put in 10-14 hour days consistently, still does to this day at 53. He's earned six figures to multiple six figures during his tenured career in the IT industry. My mother had a couple of jobs when they first got married but quickly decided she didn't want to work anymore and wanted to stay at home and be a home maker. My father obliged and out comes me in 1989 and she gives up work until the early aughts. During this time I hardly ever got to see my father. Always slaving away to provide for us as a family and doing a damn good job at it. Making six figures in the 90's was when things were cheaper was a godsend for him, so he thought. My mother growing up came from a pretty well off family. My grandmother who owned several businesses and her father was a petroleum engineer who had a high position in Gulf Oil when in was around.

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My grandparents who were born in 1917 & 1919 were making a multiple six figure income by the late 30's ear 1940's. Needles to say that kind of money back then went along way. They lived in a Manse out on a massive plot of land with all the amenities of their time. When radio was produced my grandfather had one. When TV was produced He had one. Both color and black & white. He was able to afford all those things because of his status and earning capabilities along with my grandmother. Inherently, that means my mother grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth her whole life. Never having the need or want for anything. Never having to work to acquire things she desired in life all she had to do is ask and she would get it. No questions asked. So when she married my father, the same thing transpired but a glaring issue began to sink in. She didn't know/understand (to this day) the value of a dollar. Not knowing what it takes to earn your keep in life or at all for that matter. My father always told me growing up that my mother had a spending problem and I didn't quite see it until I was in my High School years. He always said she spends the money before I can even get it into an the account.

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There have been two MAJOR occasions where she has gotten her & my father into a major bind. I say major because they were BIG numbers she got them into debt. She still spends the several thousand here and several thousand here but not like this. I remember clearly during High School my father being glaringly upset about something and I finally pried it out of him that. He said that she spent $20,000+ in credit card debt on shit and didn't have the liquid available to pay it. A lot, of his money is in investments and equity at that time and he didn't know how he was going to get them out of the hole she dug without selling the house. Luckily, here sister married my now late great uncle who was a malpractice lawyer who owned his own practice. My uncle was smart with his money and invested in commercial real estate and wound up being worth somewhere in the range of $20-$25M. So, my father went to my aunt hat in hand asking for a loan to pay off the debt which she did saying that "It's not a loan, I'm happy I am able to do it." That is the first time, The second time is when she did the same thing but at $40,000+.

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To shorten this story because I could write a monologue about this subject. When here parents started dying she picked up the booze bottle and hasn't put it down since. Also, she plays the victim in every scenario when she is confronted even the slightest bit about anything. Saying that we are attacking her and ganging up on her and it's out fault that she's in this situation to begin with not her. I honestly don't know how my parents are still married after 30 of the bullshit my mom has put the family through.

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But to conclude this ensemble, I am in a very nice spot in life. I have made a tone of money and I am currently single and have zero debts outside of business wise (check previous post history for back story). No personal lines of credit in use or house or car. I have a nice chunk of liquid put back in various spots for emergencies and other life things. One of those life things includes retiring my father. I want to write him a $5 million dollar check for his retirement but am afraid to do so because of my mother. Afraid that she will spend it all and they will be broke by their mid to late 60's.

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Any advice on how to help my Father short of causing a nuclear blow out and potential divorce if I give the money just to him. I thought about setting up a trust for him but I know that would cause a divorce and Major lifelong headache for us both.

My hat is in my hand asking for advice/opinions.

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TL;DR: Mother is a spoiled rotten alcoholic who has no value of a dollar and spends money like it grows on trees. Also, plays the victim card if she is confronted at all on the subject or any subject really. Threatens to kill herself all the time as well. Has no concept of handwork and expects things to be handed to her. Father is ready to retire but doesn't have quite enough because of my mothers spending habits over the course of their relationship and still to this day spends like crazy. I'm/ME (the son) is looking for advice to retire aging father.