"Can you please find out when the ABC store closes?"

I was reflecting on a past relationship I had back in high school senior year. I remember suffering in agony over the loss of her, and crying... begging her to come back and be my girl again.

Pathetic.

Today, I realized... she was only using me.

No, it wasn't a beta bux relationship. She liked me enough to have wild sex with me quite often, but still, I was just being used.

I was a reliable source of good dick, validation, comfort and emotions.

And her best tool to keep me in her ideal role, was alcohol. ^^(and ^^her ^^pussy)

She wasn't looking for a boyfriend. She wanted a guy who was addicted.

Y'all might think I'm too young to be an alcoholic, but I've had some serious fuking trouble quitting this shit.

This girl and I dated each other for a year and a half. It was long enough for her to recognize my drinking was a problem. That having an eighth of vodka a day before work before school, probably wasn't normal. That not eating for 2 days because you're always too drunk or buzzed to realize it, wasn't good.

And there she was on the sidelines telling me "I'm drinking too much" in one sentence, and then asking me if "I'm ready for another shot" in the very next breath.

There were times I would do well for myself... try and stay sober for a week, go to the gym, and there she was... getting irritable, starting random shit with me, and then asking me where my alcohol went, suggesting we should go buy more, "cus I know you like alcohol," and bringing me home McDonald's.

There were times I wanted to sit and paint, and she would badger me "So... You're not gonna drink?"

Today it hit me.

She wanted a drunken chump, who sat around at home all day, doing nothing, so she could have constant control, and keep a watchful eye over him at all times.

And it worked. She came over to my house almost every single day, spending every moment of free time with me, the majority of it with me being drunk.

She wanted a constant validation drip, attention, and to be able to comfort a man she found attractive. (That part's important, you actually have to be attractive to the girl to be used in this way- other wise you get used as a beta bux atm.)

I also remember during our relationship I was having extreme legal troubles, I was facing jail time.

I never whined or cried about it to her, in fact, I kept the details a secret for the most part. The only thing I told her was that I might be going to jail for a long time.

She, being a woman, decided to try and dig for the details but I wouldn't budge, and then whenever the topic came up she would only say "but... I'll miss you." in a feigned voice.

She didn't care about my well-being.

I know she liked me. but she still didn't care about me. She was only worried about what she could get out of it.

She probably, genuinely didn't want me to go to jail - cus she liked me, (and my dick,) but would she have missed me? Probably not - I'm sure she'd have found a replacement while I was in the can, and then canned him when I came back out.

She wanted to have a man that was attractive to her on lockdown and she did that by making sure I was always at home with her drunk.

Every single day, every moment, she was trying to hang out with me, and she wanted her validation from me giving her my time, and she wanted the opportunity to use my cock.

That's right. Even my dick was just something this girl could use.

She would tell me things about how she liked getting fucked - rape fantasys, BDSM role play, raw dogging and cumming inside pussy fucking ^1, and I obliged. I was her sex toy.

I read somewhere... that your girl should be your cheerleader - your number one biggest fan. ^2

I also remember sharing with her works of art that I made only to have her brush them off with disinterest, and then start talking about the art that she would make.

She would ask me how my day was. "How was work baby?" And no matter my response, she'd jump into talking about her day, her work.

I remember a conversation I had with my powerlifting friend.

He saw a bottle of vodka in my car and was we worried would get pulled over.

He asked me how I could have gotten it cuz I was too young to buy it myself and I told him my girl gave it to me.

He told me bluntly I'm an alcoholic cuz I drink all the time.

Then he said something that I think I will never forget now.

"She's not down for you, bro."

^^1 ^i ^started ^by ^using ^rubbers ^with ^her, ^but ^we ^went ^to ^a ^doctor ^and ^she ^got ^herself ^a ^birth ^control ^shot. ^Found ^out ^later ^through ^an ^associate ^that ^she ^loves ^feeling ^raw ^cum ^inside ^her. ^She ^did ^that ^for ^herself.

^^2 ^i ^guess ^that ^doesnt ^matter ^if ^you ^spin ^plates ^but ^i ^like ^LTR's ^/ ^LTFWBs