I have a very deep pain in my heart that many, if not all, of you can sympathize with. It comes from no longer being able to love someone like I used to. This feeling is something we share.

We also have our differences. Everybody is an individual, and the individual is an entity in himself. Some recognize their individuality while others do not. Sharing the experience of life with others has profound meaning.

Letting go of a special other - one who had a considerable share in your experience of life, but who is no longer involved - letting go is very difficult. But it is possible. You can learn to love again.

A special someone is not to be confused with a “oneitis”. The latter implies something entirely different involving scarcity. Enough has been said about this matter already to differentiate between a loved one and a oneitis.

What I would like to explore is the concept of “learning to love again” in the context of TRP. I believe that very much of what I said above is essential to the transition process from Blue to Red. For someone who has had their heart broken, it is a kind of healing.

That said, there is a tendency for people to embody certain attitudes that can be harmful during the transition process. One can consider these attitudes as ways of filling a void. This is conceptually a scarcity/abundance dynamic, where the user exchanges love for something like spinning plates.

Clearly there are many valid arguments to be made against the practice of monogamy. Almost all of which follow from the ethos of “enjoying the decline”. This is fair and I share this sentiment for the most part. There is much to be said about the trajectory of society following the collapse of the convention of marriage.

However, monogamy is not the issue at hand, and neither is social ontology. Again, the question is this: Why do some use TRP to avoid falling in love?

To make this more concrete I will share a hypothetical model:

Someone has their heart broken by an ex girlfriend or oneitis. (Or some variation of this. Not everybody who finds TRP is necessarily a bottom-of-the-barrel loser. Some are, however, and they have more ground to cover. Individuals vary radically.)

They turn to the internet to find ways to deal with their pain.

They find TRP and begin (presumably) narrowing their search criteria based on their specific needs. There is an overabundance of information here. It can be difficult to navigate thankfully we have a “sidebar” which is fairly comprehensive.

They begin converting the information they have found in the internet into real-world action and results. This is the part of the process I am focused on. Because this is where change occurs. Namely: learn to love again and accept that you will be hurt, or avoid loving by spinning plates.

Every man is susceptible to falling in love. A critical part of understanding your power as a man is learning how to fall in love on your own terms. However, if you are using “surface level TRP ethics” to circumnavigate learning how to properly fall in love, then you have not fully internalized what it means to be a man.

The pain will subside and you will learn to love again. Anesthesizing yourself with hedonistic pleasure is avoiding growing as a person. Neither should you attempt to retrieve something from the past. Let it go, take the part of it that is still alive with you and put it into whatever you are working towards.

Your views towards women as individuals, or social constructs such as marriage, feminism, &c. will vary. This is fine, you are an individual and nobody cares about your opinion anyways, so you can be as eccentric as you please. There is scarcely to be said a TRP “opinion” on most of these matters. There can be a consensus among individuals but TRP is not an entity in itself. It is not an individual.

This is not an accusation against those who choose to spin plates instead of fall in love. I’m simply saying that you need to recognize you have the power to choose between the either and both can be done healthily. Sexual strategy is amoral, so don’t worry about that.

If you are going to call in love make sure it is for someone who is worth it. If you are spinning plates make sure you’re not isolating yourself from past emotional damage.

Edit. I should add that this choice really comes down to knowing yourself and which you prefer. A good analogy is some people are great with crowds and large parties while others prefer small gatherings. There isn’t anything “wrong” with you for having a preference, per se, though you should certainly be adaptable to either. Bottom line, don’t let TRP peer pressure you into thinking that one is universally preferable over the other.

I invite you all to weigh in on this matter in the comments. I know this is all over the place but I hope the central point is clear enough to discuss.