For some backstory i am an 18 year old male, and ever since middle school i just had a certain charm around me (I didnt give a fuck) Because of this alot of girls were literally throwing themselfs at me, but for some fucking reason something is always telling me in the back of my head to reject them, its like i have a trigger that goes off saying to myself do not get involved, at first it was me just being shy but i later didnt care about girls that i was comfortable around, does anyone know what it could be?

Ontop of this i recently got attached to a girl, and the only thing i legimitately i got out of it is a bunch of stress and jealousy trying to impress her, and for what i ask? so i can get my dick wet, its not like you can actually spend your life with a woman in this day and age, and they dont really add much, i witnessed my stress free well balanced lifestyle go to shit because i cared about a girl, and changed too much of my behaviour trying to impress her.

Paradoxically me caring is what would make the girl not like me in the first place. Moral of the story is, dont care even if you are in a relationship always be as emotionally distant from women as possible.

Sorry if this sounds like a bit of a word salad, but i just needed to get out my frustration