Why You Need To Be On Tinder

If you’re beneath the top 20% percent of men in physical appearance, Tinder is a no man’s land.

Men find about 80% of the women they encounter attractive. Women? Only 20%. That’s why even below average women get excessive amounts of matches and messages.

Because of this dynamic, women can be as scrutinizingly selective as they wish, and the app is skewed in their favor.

Women will match with the vast majority of men they swipe right on instantly, so they avoid swiping right on anyone but men who they are 100% sure they want to match with. Therefore, if you aren’t in the upper echelons of physical appearance, your chances on Tinder just voraciously suck.

However, if you are a highly attractive man, things are looking up for you. If you aren’t using Tinder as a 9 or 10, you’re screwing yourself over a cold steel desk. Let’s face it, Tinder is built for the woman and the attractive man. And for each respective party, it’s a gold mine.

A good way to get an objective view on how attractive you are is to upload a picture to the website Photofeeler. The pic should be straight on, not retouched, in good lighting, and you should look approachable in it. Begin a test in the “Dating” category. Photofeeler works as honestly as possible, using percentages to map how many people of a selected gender voted you “Not Attractive,” “Somewhat Attractive, “Attractive,” and “Very Attractive.” Whatever percentage out of 100 you get will give you your rating out of ten. I got 90% positive female votes, which put me in the top 10%, or sitting pretty at a 9/10.

Now don’t get it twisted. Even if you’re model level, this isn’t a no-effort approach. You can’t just be attractive and expect girls to come to you. Some will, most won’t. You won’t be able to post one picture to your Tinder profile and get matches. You may get some, but not many. You’ll still be ghosted. You’ll still run into stuck up pricks. You’ll still be unmatched. Even the hottest guys will do poorly if their profiles are lazy.

If you want in, you’ll have to play the game. This starts with knowing what people (women) on Tinder are looking for. Apart from being startlingly good looking, you need to seem fun and adventurous. Girls just want to have fun. Tinder is about putting your best foot forward and appearing as if you have a kickass life.

So, from an individual you fuckers would call a “Tyrone” to the Chads and Changs, as well as my fellow Tyrones, here are my tips.

Pic Game On Ten

No geeky mirror selfies. And I do mean none.

Your first picture needs to be a headshot. A professional headshot. If you have a model face, you need it on clear display.

Second pic, an upper body photo. Preferable a posed shot.

Third photo, an easygoing, but well angled, selfie. Yes, you are allowed one selfie. You are, in fact human, and humans take selfies.

Fourth pic? Shirtless! Preferable in an outdoor, natural setting like a pool or taking a run, so that it doesn’t look tryhard. And yep that’s right, no mirrors. If you got it, flaunt it. I’ve found that women appreciate a Holden Nowell type body over a Mark Wahlberg type. Just something to keep in mind.

Fifth pic, a group photo. You and a group of varied individuals should be photographed having fun. Why’s this important? Well for one, you have a social life and two, social proof, of course. If a bunch of people (including girls) think you’re cool, it’s gets others going “well maybe I should think he’s cool too.”

Sixth pic, a professional full body (clothed) pic, showcasing your physical contour and style. Preferably posed, standing or sitting.

Seventh pic, an image of you engaging in a hobby. Something interesting, something you’re passionate about. My seventh pic is an image of me fording a pond via a fallen tree during a hike.

Eighth pic, another hobby. My eighth was a pic of me playing the drums.

Ninth is optional. Pic of your pet if you have one, or your car if it’s nice.

Bio Game On Ten

You should have some things going for you, and you want to include those in your bio. Tell them clearly who you are, what you do, and give them a little taste of your sense of humor to keep it light. Include your height if you’re tall. If you’re not, add an inch or two. No one’ll notice in person and it’ll look better in print. Whatever you do though, you don’t want to sound like a little bitch by making a gawky, awkward bio that makes you seem unsure of yourself. And for Pete’s sake don’t give them a long list of things you like. You’ll just sound like a third grader. Lastly, keep it short.

This is my Tinder bio, for reference:

*6’0”

Adventurer, photographer, singer for an alternative rock band, and aspiring model. I also fix cars, good with my hands. (Lol that’s what she said.)

I know you’re not into black guys, but don’t knock it till you try it. ;)*

It’s never a bad idea to introduce a little sexuality, but just a little. That way you don’t scare off the prudes, but still get the attention of the more...liberated girls.

It’s also never a bad idea to include incentives in your bio. I cast every girl on Tinder in a slightly bad light by jokingly implying they’re racist, so that they’d be more inclined to swipe right, just to prove to themselves, if not to anyone else, that they aren’t. I know, it’s pretty fucked up of me to finesse people like that, but you have to play the game.

Instagram Game On Ten

If you have some type of claim to fame, looks, talent, etc, you should be killing on Instagram. And you should link that IG in your Tinder. I have an Instagram where I promote my music and post artistic photography. It just crossed 2,500 followers. Again, social proof. Im her mind, if that many people like you, why shouldn’t she? Anyone with that many followers can’t be that weird. Instagram is also one of the easiest ways to start a personal brand and make an unholy amount of money, but we’ll get into that later.

Anthem Game On Ten

Honestly this one isn’t that important, but don’t have shit taste in music and post the same song everyone else is listening to. List something no one has heard. Use it as a conversation starter.

Chat Game On Ten

My fail-proof opener on Tinder is always a mix of comedic misdirection coupled with playful negging. Basically, I make a joke where it seems I’m about to compliment the girl, but I switch it on her. It’s a great way to subtly compliment her but also show that you I’m not a simp that’s been pussywhipped into worshipping her. One girl, slim, blond, and exactly my type, had, among other great pics, a bikini pic, and a pic of her sitting with her friend on a truck. I opened with “It appears you have a lot of junk in the trunk....of your Range Rover! How many cylinders you got?” Needless to say it captured her attention and made her laugh. Another time I started with, “Um, are you my homework? Because even though I’ll take you home, I will find every excuse not to do you.” Got her completely off guard. Hot girls aren’t used to hearing guys say they won’t have sex with them. This type of joke is similar to the strategy of certain pick up artists who meet a girl and throughout the whole date they’re going “I’m not gonna fuck you. We’re not having sex. I’m not having sex with you,” and by some reverse psychology miracle, they always end up shagging at the end of the night.
Being witty and jokingly teasing is incredibly easy. Just watch a lot of stand up, and be playfully patronizing and playfully disinterested. Works like a charm. It’s also incredibly easy to sexualize, so escalation will be a walk in the park.

A Final Note On Swiping

Be selective. Be very selective. Because you can be. Only swipe on girls that are your type. If you’re a nine, don’t swipe right on anyone below eight. You’ll get slightly less matches than if you had just swiped on everything, but they’ll be higher quality this way. (Yes. Not to brag or anything, but I did indeed match with those girls.)

Tinder is a great way to find some of the most attractive girls on the planet. Why? Because most of them get on Tinder for the validation. They know they’re attractive, and don’t really intend to swipe right on anyone unless he’s just that hot. Showstopper hot. And if you’re in that category, lucky you, you’ll match with them.

I understand that there will be some of you going, “Be a real man you pussy. Get out there and talk to girls.” Sure, do that. But let’s say you’re busy. Let’s say you, like myself, live in a small town where things just don’t work like that. Regardless of your situation, and in light of the sheer abundance the app provides, you’d be dumb not to use it.

Yes, it is true that the bottom 80% won’t get much work done on Tinder, but if you’re in the top 20% and you’re not using it, you’re literally nuking yourself in the foot.

Tl;dr.

Try Tinder.