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eggsygalahad
[–]NietzscheExplosion8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It's actually even better. God is.
And she's a bitch.
[–]KushKenobi11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Technically Adam first was created in the image of God, so he's supposed to be male I guess. Satan is literally the divorced wife trying to get everyone who hasn't already seen her bullshit to believe she's not a stank hoe.
[–]darkmanilluminate6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dig your screen name
[–]KushKenobi5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks bruv
[–]stormaster3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
u/kushkenobi
Hello there.
Your lightsaber will make a great addition to my collection.
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
/u/5hobo40 requested someone get all biblical on this so here goes...
Here’s a short version of the Bible’s message.
God YHWH created everything good. He is always refered to as male, ”he”, ”father” etc, and all his qualities are good and balanced: Love, Wisdom, Justice, Power, Truth, Loyalty, Humility.
One angel misused its free will to lure mankind into also misuse its free will. This angel is refered to as Satan, Devil, Serpent, Dragon, Lucifer. Qualities include being lying, deceptive, vain, proud, manipulative, murderous, back stabbing, traitorous, materialistic. Typical female traits.
This raised the question of who has the right to rule and decide right from wrong: God or humans? This could only be answered by allowing humans self governing for an adequately long time. So God let Satan do as she pleased to prove her point: That she’s a better god than YHWH. She basically shit-tested God, and since millions of angels were watching he had to allow her to try and fail.
So shit will go on until it is abundantly clear that Satan is incompetent and humans can’t rule themselves. Then YHWH will get his pimp hand out and fix it all.
In the mean time, anyone who wishes can accept Yeshua (Jesus) as the messiah to take a stand on YHWH’s side and be safe when the pimp hand comes out.
That’s roughly what the Bible is about.
Now on to why I think Satan is a girl:
Spirit creatures are technically not sexually dimorphic like us, so gender doesn’t really apply to them, but we can see some interesting hints here and there.
Like, why did Satan choose to go after Eve and not Adam? Perhaps she was more comfortable speaking to a like minded individual? She knew Eve would nag Adam to sin as well.
The whole deal with questioning God’s sovereignty is just like a big shit-test. She knows she can’t beat him in strength, so she manipulates the situation so that any other response than letting her run the world for a few thousand years would be seen as unjust, suspect and questionable by millions of angels. Like when your woman trashes your place and tells the police you beat her. You better have video taped it so you can prove who the real criminal is.
When Satan lured angels to materialize and have sex with women, they materialized as men. But Satan didn’t join them herself. Why? Wrong equipment?
When refered to as Lucifer, Satan is described as very beautiful, with ornaments and decorations of gold etc. Not something your normal guy would wear.
When tempting Jesus, Satan tried to entice his materialistic and vain side. She offered food (”I cooked for you!”) Dared him to show off by jumping from a high place (”A real man would do that”) And offering him all kingdoms of the world for an act of worship. (”Just worship me quickly, and tonight I’ll let you rule my kingdoms.”) Typical female manipulation.
(Note that Satan could only offer all kingdoms if she actually owned them, showing that it is indeed Satan that controlls the world right now. 1 John 5:19 agrees. All the evil in the world is essentially caused by female management.)
There are probably more examples of typically female behaviour, but that should make the point.
[–]Gbobby1016 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or the talking snake was a lie Eve told to have something to blame and God just ran with it even though he knew it was BS.
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or, the woman was just stupid enough to trust any old snake that came slithering by.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fargo season 2!
[–]eggsygalahad[S] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn right!
[–]GemStarCN213 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was just watching a random YT video of the opening ceremony of the Gotthard Base Tunnel......one of small details that slipped most people I think, was that at a certain point the anti Christ was born, and as you would expect it was a woman.
[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer-2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re right the god of this world is evil, it is evident. However the creator is good. He gives you free air to breathe, free water to drink and free food to eat, sun on your skin and everything you need for a happy life. Bacteria and viruses are not evil but have their proper place in a well balanced environment.
It is only when you become disconnected from the source of life that evil, sickness and death occur. You have to work hard for money to pay for the free gifts of the creator. And as it is now, all mankind is disconnected, so we age, get sick and die, and meanwhile follow our desires, sometimes to the detriment of others.
Everything in nature rots and dies and gets recycled, as do we because our frame is physical. This is not evil either. This is just natural for animals and plants, and also natural for our physical bodies, but not our minds.
A healthy human mind wishes to continue exploring forever. If not, we would accept death as easily as pooping. The ultimate human existence is one where we are connected to the creator again and can be sustained by a steady supply if life force. Then there will be no sickness or death.
You see the world clearly but from a reversed perspective. If creation was truly evil and malevolent then there would be no reason for you to continue existing. Anything you did would be completely pointless. So unless you suicide right now it means you think life is worth living, even though it is not perfect at the moment.
Imagine how good it could be without the evils and ailments we face.
P.S. I’m the Vlad who says hello to imps. Perhaps you confuse me with someone else?
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[–]NietzscheExplosion8 points9 points10 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]KushKenobi11 points12 points13 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]darkmanilluminate6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]KushKenobi5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stormaster3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]KushKenobi5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gbobby1016 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]eggsygalahad[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GemStarCN213 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer-2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link