Younger mgtow here, how do I change my viewpoint on relationships because as of right now it's in conceivably lonely to be single in my eyes and I'm already lonely enough as is(after highschool I have 2-3 friends that I see once a month) is there a way to get used to living on your own with little to no interaction? Is this like a part of my personality or is it social programming? I keep thinking about this other thing, in high school I actually had a lot of chances to bag some decent women 7s 8s and even a 9 but I never did, main reason I was a late bloomer puberty wise and because I don't view sex like most guys, my sex drive is there but my mind controls my actions more than anything(up until 18 I viewed men and women basically as the same), I enjoy sex but it's never taken control of me/been my main objective, pussy isn't really that good to me, but I do become aroused near women, I guess I value the emotional connection around women more than the sex but in all honesty I just wanted to get out a lot of my feelings here and get some advice maybe
[+]WeRGravity [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
You are making the mistake that there is a real emotional connection from women towards you. It is yet another tool of manipulation and control.
Women are too solipsistic and narcissistic to waste real emotions on anyone but themselves. Love does not exist and women know it, we see relationships as a bond between humans and they see it as a business contract.
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IMO, it's both... both a sort of "innate" personality AND as a critical component of that, how it has been shaped/molded by "social" and other environmental experiences: it's largely a matter of whether you grew up "habituated" to (and how tolerant/intolerant or even welcome/desirous you found) noise & chaos... versus "solitude."
-- Can you... in adulthood "recultivate" a penchant for actually enjoying, even THRIVING on "solitude"? (As opposed to simply "enduring" it.)
Yes, I think you can -- largely via engaging in PERSONAL interests & hobbies -- ideally a combination of several such, including "intellectual" components (reading, research, honing of skills, and so on) as well as the "physical" aspect of same (working with your hands to create things etc)... that in and of itself CAN also lead to pleasant (even wide-ranging) "social" aspects as well; meeting with others who share the interests/passions, etc.
-- That doesn't (at least not entirely) take care of the need for "touch" -- or at least not the need to BE "touched" etc...
IMO the best way to sort of ameliorate that is with literal "pets" -- dogs, cats, can even be or include horses and other animals -- the act of grooming/stroking (and being in charge of the care for) other living beings is a BIG part of the inherent biological component of "intimacy."
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Indeed.
-- YUP. Wanna really "blow your mind"?
Think about the above in contrast to the HISTORICAL context/experience of most of your ancestors lives -- i.e. when nearly every man (who wasn't "dirt" poor/homeless) at least had one horse, when the vast majority of men were farmers, a big chunk of them engaged not simply in "agriculture" but in "husband-ry", specifically "animal husband-ry" of one type or another -- that is with many & probably various livestock (of necessity then not only horses, but often several dogs to help herd, multiple cats to keep the barn & granary free of mice, etc).
-- OK, you have that "picture" in your mind? Farmer (or other pre-car, pre-factory, pre-office MAN, even BOY, likely even SLAVES) likely has at least one, and probably a couple of "favorite" horses he rode and/or took "care" of (as part of work, travel AND herding, etc -- whether he OWNS them or just WORKS with them) -- probably on a daily or near daily basis -- not only rides, but in the morning and probably evening spends some significant time "greeting" and then "bedding down" -- that also means feeding, watering, exercise & "grooming" -- even arguably including "hugs" & "pets" (in a sense, it might be less what we think of as "petting" and more "stroking" the neck, brushing the horse down, patting the animal on the rump, etc... but it's still quasi-intimate "touch" with another living, breathing, warm-blooded, being, ones which respond to actual "care" caring touch and even to an extent human voices {most horses are "named" what's more they KNOW their names as spoken by their "owner/master/caretaker"} ... and which also likely {instantly} react to, balk at, "abuse" verbal OR physical).
-- ...And that's just the horse(s). Next come the cows, or sheep, or well... whatever critters he cares for, animals he is "husbanding"; probably several, possibly dozens or even hundreds. Depending on the kind THEY too may very well be "named" -- and they have their own "personalities" as well -- variously like to be "groomed" (petted), etc.
Then... there are also likely several ancillary "working" animals -- those dogs & cats (which are in fact a type of "robotic" automation, semi-autonomous actual "workers" {cats more autonomous than dogs} that also interact to various degrees with their "humans") -- and they too like/need various amounts of "care" including "grooming" and "petting" (again to varying degrees, dogs likely more than cats).
-- Point being that most "farmer" and even other tradesmen (especially pre-car, pre-factory & pre-office worker) had comparatively "rich" lives of touch and caring... after all "horsepower" once upon a time (and through nearly ALL of history) really DID involve "horses."
-- Now... take ALL of that away: trap the man's descendant in a steel & plastic vehicle for transport (no warm horse flesh under his butt, beneath/between his legs, petted/patted and controlled by his hands); stick him in a nice "thermostatically controlled" room (so that there is neither hot nor cold, and also, absent animals no "shared warmth" from touch, grooming, mutual "exercise"); tell him he can only have ONE woman (wife), and while he can have kids (one or two), well as a "MAN" he has to be cautious/careful how he "touches" them (too much stroking, petting, or lap-sitting and he's a "PEDO"), largely having to keep them at arm's length distance, etc.
WORSE yet, have him grow UP for in that environment, 20 some years deprived of nearly ALL "touch"... other than perhaps (occasionally, and to a limited degree, subject to HER whims) a bit of "touch" with/from his [s]mother...
Is it any surprise that his sense of "intimacy" -- his innate, ingrained, inbred, NATURAL desire for "connection" with other living beings -- get's all FUCKED UP? That he desperately becomes a "simp" for ANY/ALL attention & intimacy that some WOMAN might (from time to time) choose to provide?? Or worse, grudgingly "allow"??? Worse yet that he makes some ULTIMATE experience out of that MAJOR "sensory overload" of sexual union????
-- Modern dude is stuck in an "artificial" and touch-&-intimacy limited (deprived & thus depraved) environment that his ancestors would have probably thought of as a form of "hell on earth" -- from THEIR perspective, he's like a prisoner locked up in some "solitary confinement" jail cell -- oh to be sure he has lots of gadgets & "toys" in his cell, but it's still a "cell"; and even the toys are sterile and entirely absent any real "warmth" much less any sensory/sensual "connection" with other living creatures.
CAREFUL! Animals really DO require "care" -- that means time, as well as food & other resources (food, clean water, shelter, exercise & play, medical care, as well as cleanup when they get "sick" {which they nearly ALL do at some point or another}).
Not saying you CAN'T have one or more pets -- just beware that you ARE making a commitment to provide for the needs of the critter (which while not entirely helpless, most aren't exactly well adapted to survive on their own in the "modern" human world) -- and that commitment can last as long as the animal lives (which will likely be several years, possibly a decade or even two decades or more).
-- IOW, get yourself "situated" first... BEFORE taking on any "dependents" (furry or otherwise).
How do you get your "touch/petting" needs filled in the meantime? Many different ways that can be done without "owning" (or actually being "owned by") pets within your own home -- offer to help with other people's pets (friends, neighbors... people go on vacation); or else even volunteer at some local animal shelter.
-- Most animal shelters have staff personnel that are stretched pretty thin just providing basic necessities {food, shelter, & medical care}, often they have so many animals that they really can't give adequate "time & care" to each animal -- and while YMMV from one shelter to another -- many of them welcome (even have "programs" for) people willing to volunteer to just "spend time" with the critters, especially if it's on a regular basis (and they will understand that often you CAN'T do more, that is -- lacking an acceptable home or enough resources -- you CAN'T actually "adopt/take home" animals, even though you may really WANT to do so).
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-- Second (intentionally) reply...
In some senses it's difficult for me (personally*) to grasp how this kind of thing even CAN be a "Holy fuck!" kind of "revelation."
Yet over time, I have come to realize (more and more as time passes) that it most definitely can be (and increasingly IS) exactly that for a lot of guys.
-- Hence my other reply beginning with the "blow your mind" statement. Because I think for a lot of kids (and now "adults") -- being raised in "isolated" even "insulated" (urban, suburban) environments these days -- having not only little to no "freedom to roam" but also little or no "contact" with anything that can truly be called "nature" (not only actual "wildlife" but even just the array of other living creatures on the planet)... That they especially lack an understanding of how he PHYSICAL contact works on a "sensory" (even subconscious level).
If you grow up NEVER having really (truly) experienced any/all substantial "sensory/sensual" physical contact with, much less caring for & grooming other animals (horses, cows, sheep, goats, as well as dogs etc)... well it's probably equally hard to FULLY grasp hat which you have not "experienced."
-- It's one thing to WATCH so called "nature" programs about animals -- that's a largely "intellectual" thing; it's arms' distance (and worse); and it is hard to truly explain to someone (least of all in "words") just how MUCH that is entirely lacking in "experience" terms.
I'd say similarly, it's like the difference between ACTUALLY flying in a small airplane (experiencing the vertigo, the minor "g-forces"; no to mention actual "turbulence" etc) versus playing some "flight simulator" video game -- or again how "shooting" an actual gun (with the noise, the kickback, etc) is likewise substantially different from "virtually" shooting a gun in a video game -- there is just no real comparison, and no way to fully EXPLAIN that which you haven't actually experienced. (Worse, any attempt to explain it, can at best be "intellectual/academic" and probably comes off as ridiculously condescending if not "offensive" -- even when it isn't intended to be -- after all, how can you "explain" colors, or the shapes and flickers of say a campfire -- to a person born and still entirely blind? They have no "experience" to use as a basis for truly comprehending then phenom.)
-- The answer of course is that you HAVE to go out and actually experience at least SOME of it -- unlike the congenitally "blind" person you DO have the "sensory" capability to HAVE/GAIN the "experience" -- you CAN go out and "rent" a horse, be trained in how to ride one, experience at least SOME minimal aspect of grooming/petting/patting a horse (feel the critter underneath you as you ride, etc); likewise with other animals, even if you DON'T have the (present) capacity to OWN dogs, that doesn't necessarily prevent you from volunteering to help others who do (or shelters in need of volunteers, etc).
* While I didn't "formally/technically" grow up as a farm-kid (my family had a few animals at various times and for a few years, we even planted & raised a few crops -- but overall it was short even of what could properly be called a "hobby farm" -- it was more akin to a large-gardening exercise, etc)...
Nevertheless I did grow up in what was unquestionably a "rural" area, and I was surrounded by not only woods and wildlife, but also various farms & farm families (mostly dairy cows, but sheep, goats, pigs, etc were common enough -- as well as lesser critters like ducks, & chickens, even "fur" farms -- and of course... horses). And most of my friends, and the various kids I went to school with were in similar circumstances (either farm kids themselves or lived near/around farms & farmers most of their life); moreover my father HAD grown up as a farmer himself (HIS father being largely/mostly a "horse team" dairy farmer, in the pre-tractor "great depression" era), and likewise with my mother. So, whether intentionally/purposefully or not, via friends and various family, I was exposed to the whole array of animals, participating in caring for them, grooming them and so on (per example became "comfortable" and competent riding horses, even if not exactly "expertly" or passionately).
-- Point of all of that is that -- to me -- the fact that there is a kind of ingrained/innate skill at (even "need" for) people, and particularly boys & men, moreso than women to regularly interact with animals in a "hands on" manner -- is simply a rather blatantly obvious "given"; something that I just "learned" at an early age, and always accepted (never really "questioned" or thought much about it -- much less how anyone could NOT know it -- until I was well into my adult years).
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