Lately I have been losing grasp of myself.
I find myself sleepless at night, thinking of this manifestation of a girl that does not exist. I am in love with an idea, a fantasy and concept. Despite what I know, Red pill and all; my logic telling me what is really going on, I can't get rid of this feeling. Now I have caught myself projecting this fantasy onto a random female I used to have sexual encounters with once in a while some time back.
Why is my brain doing these crazy shenanigans? I feel like I am being puppeted by someone wanting me to go into a relationship, get a family and so on.
Currently I am keeping this at bay by exercise, hiking, focusing at my job and working on hobbies, but the underlying feelings of failure and "not being a Real Man©®" are growing in strength and filling up my conscience.
The last couple of months I have been purposely avoiding women as I fear falling into the trap, but I can sense the net being tightened around me as we speak.
Any advice on how to get out of this situation?
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I think your age could be playing a role here. If you're young and you libedo is strong then you'll have a tough time, but it gets better with age.
Otherwise/also my other advice is keep taking red pills. If you know you it's like to have a GF then you know how much of a time and freedom sink it can be. You just need the logic of the situation to overcome your emotions.
Of you were lucky enough to have a NSA arrangement then realize it was never forever. It never is.
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