Last night down the pub, doing my usual Sat night gig with the fellas. Gal comes over to bring us drinks and I do a double take. She's a super hot brunette waitress I thought had quit about three months back. Seriously this girl made a big deal about leaving, had a big going away party, bragged about her new rich guy, her new life 3000 miles away, her road trip, yadda yadda yadda. Everyone wished her well and sent her on her way despite her heavy implications she was ditching us all and we didn't deserve her presence.

In between songs I said to her, "so what happened? didn't think we'd see you back?" She got super quiet, and then I saw it. The thousand cock stare.

"It didn't work out," she mumbled and hurried off. Now far be it from me to make fun of someone who's had a bad breakup, we've all been there. However, her shitty attitude towards everyone for the months preceding it and her continued spiraling down the substance abuse drain and getting every inch of skin tatted up meant I had to enjoy a moment of schadenfraude. She couch crashed with a bunch of "friends" and got every hole filled on a 4000 mile plus road trip for months then got fucking dumped when she showed up at her new man's place. Dude apparently wasn't having her shit, so she ran home to mom and dad and a minimum wage job. Congrats on the new cemetery full of skeletons your closet. Heading for the wall at fucking warp speed.

Just more evidence that you'll never be special to her, gents (at least not for long.) Just another rooster in the henhouse with an ATM card and the ability to change a tire.