Even when I had sex and made out with a girl, I never really enjoyed it. Even when I was at uni i was really disappointed because it didn't feel like everyone was going for a higher purpose but rather their basic instincts. Makes me think that maybe that is why I disliked school and everything, it is all to a means to an end but that end not being a higher purpose.

Even tonight, went out, ready to pump and dump but was like "hold on a minute. I really don't feel like it." and just walked back home.

Tell me what you think because I always feel a bit strange for not being like everyone else. I'm not smarter or more powerful than anyone, but I just feel that I need to find my higher purpose (not passion per se). Any comments are welcomed ty