Hi all, just wanted to throw my hat in the ring. I’m just learning all of this and it really clicks and explains a lot. A little history. I’m in my 40’s educated divorced for 3 years but was married for 15 years. Had kids immediately- reason for marriage. Got along with my wife. Not ideal but we did ok. She went back to work after kid number 2. Both making decent salaries. My mom passed away and I started drinking more than usual. Wife was non supportive so distance crept in. She started traveling more for business internationally and after 6 years of marriage I found proof of at least emotional affair with a client from a country she had visited. She says it’s because I’m distant which was not from my lack of trying. Guilt sets in and I forgive her even though she never admitted anything wrong. A year later I find out while supposedly out of town on business she’s been spending the weekend in a hotel with a different Chad. I blow up but blame myself and turn into a total simp. Fast forward 10 years. New house, cars, and I’m at the pinnacle of my career. she’s invested 15k in plastic surgery for the future Chads yet to come and tells me she’s divorcing me but wants me to stay with her. I was partying heavily and she could see either me leaving me or falling on my face. So I leave become a Chad and fall on my face. Lose my career multiple DUl and get divorce raped. I have nothing and am staring at prison time for being a repeat offender. I defined myself by the illusion of a loving woman and I lost everything. I take solace today in being aware that I don’t need a woman to be happy or to define me.