AskMGTOW: How do you guys view casual sex?

Omnibrad · 2017-05-31T00:53:20+00:00

Do not seek out casual sex. If you have to seek out, it isn't casual.

PedanticPeasantry · 2017-05-31T00:59:21+00:00

I'm not MGTOW as far as most here are, I more fell into it... Quick story I guess.

Grew up atheist, so didn't value virginity such as you, however was raised almost entirely by my mother... One because of the domineering "Gynocentric" attitude of her family and society and also as a consequence of my father being raised in a genuinely abusive and "too much" paternalistic household (his father, my grandfather was a religious extremist to put it bluntly.) ...

So, while we differ on the sex aspect there's a lot of overlap of being blue pilled as it were. Always wanted to find both sex if available but ultimately seeking a partner, an equal of sorts, with which to go through life....

Cue many instances of confusion when "making love" and being accused of being a woman or a girl in terms of my temperament in bed, being fobbed off by legendarily promiscuous women who could smell the beta a mile away, I actually turned down a girl for sex one day after a massive effort to romance her... dinner, movie, went home and gave her a full body massage with oil, getting a bit more promiscuous as it went on... But ultimately something about it in the end just turned me off. At the time I felt like it was because I'd put so much effort into "changing her mind" to have sex... But in time I think I more objected to.... Well, just how ridiculous an effort was required, given this girl was legit into me, and I knew had fantasized\liked me for years. She ran off with a Chad 14 years her senior about a year later (well after our semi relationship ended.) ...

Was with a very religious Baptist girl for a few years, she left to make a long story short because I couldn't read her mind and had my own problems which she couldnt\wouldnt help with.... Which wasn't much of an ask given the supports I had provided her in similar regards (emotional support.) ... There was zero sex for that relationship, have it on good authority she banged the guy she left me for on very short order...

So while I am not MGTOW because I find it difficult to accept that I cannot find a reliable partner, I truly believe sex is simply a game, to most people. A biological imperative for both sexes but one which is used as a motivational and demotivational bludgeon with which to manipulate individuals...

So the way to view sex? It's not a goal. You cant let it be a goal which drives your actions.... Which is I think the core of the admirable and empowering aspect of MGTOW I am attracted to philosophically.

Your line of inquiry makes me suspect you are still highly.... Motivated, pulled, corralled, by sexual urges... Which is fine, and I think that at certain stages of life everyone is doomed to be so... But it can be mitigated a bit by recognizing that it is just a game, and whether openly or not viewed as a "reward" by those given the role of selector, not a mutually gratifying activity...

So what's the solution, in that paradigm? Forget about it, largely. Don't go into situations with it as an end goal, and if it comes up as an opportunity or a potentiality with some girl I'd just be honest about it "happy to be single." "Not interested in relationships, life is great" that kind of thing. Keep your frame positive, but self focused, you don't need shit. Basically a bit of a mishmash between a Chad, Red pill, and PUA mentality. Not being antagonistic or manipulative about it, not playing the game, just being honest and confident that you don't need to or want to play it... And truly internalizing that frame, because when (and most likely when, this is a pretty much guaranteed mindset to get you some tail at some point...) When it gets down to brass tacks if you havent internalized it down to just mutual gratification, and simply personal gratification if there is no active communication or interplay, you will find yourself slipping into the subservient\beta etc etc mindset, and the things you say and do will likely make you unattractive...

Basically do you... Sex at one point was likely more powerful and influential on behaviour by its releasing of hormones and chemicals to bond people together for child rearing, but the modern world has made it so easy and so ever presently tempting to break those bonds that they are nearly meaningless, and I think that goes for both genders.

Porn is a bit of a driver of that, but not the biggest one I would say, as it is also partly a response driven by the bigger cultural shift for men to self satisfy... So I say use it, although as anything in life recognize it as a tool, and any tool can harm you if overused or misused :P

I'd be curious to know about those three relationships, how did the conversations about sex and marriage go after each refusal? What were their reasonings for not wanting marriage but to go ahead with sex? How were the relationships otherwise? Balance of emotional or physical inputs? They could have been trying to respark some dying feelings in themselves (bored) ... Be trying to... Well, subjugate you somewhat, for lack of a better word (obviously that could be unpacked) ... Or fundamentally not understand why their religion values chastity before a full commitment?

Given the complexities there it's hard to pass judgement off, although I'm sure many here won't hesitate :)

To distill back, what should you do regarding sex given your newly "redpilled\mgtow" awakening? Exactly as the title says, Man, go your own way. Your upbringing says to worship monogamy, fidelity, "true" love, Red pill says fuck it learn the game and abuse it as best you can, MGTOW says "forget all that, don't play their game, make your own." ... That doesn't mean don't walk on the field, just that you should ignore everyone playing soccer and just lay on the grass and enjoy the birds, just ignore and smile at the people who try to shame you or teach you how soccer works, just smile and nod and enjoy your own heaven on earth... Forget about it :)

huckleberryferry · 2017-05-31T04:51:47+00:00

[deleted]

lonewolf-chicago · 2017-05-31T00:25:50+00:00

Through my computer monitor or binoculars. :-)

lonewolf-chicago · 2017-05-31T00:36:11+00:00

Seriously though.

The question is do you want to have sex? If the answer is yes then you have to ask yourself do you want to have sex with one person, your future wife?

I have a feeling you are not fully mgtow and that is ok but if you think that you might want to get married in the future if you ever find someone who truly is an awesome person then the question is should you wait?

If you wait until you're 22 or 25 they're not going to be any virgins left so it won't matter. And you will suck in bed because you haven't had any practice.

From what I know from your short post that is a dilemma that only you can resolve..

I know you do not know me from Adam but everyone laughed at me because I never cheated on my girlfriend in college and three out of the four years that we dated it was a long distance relationship she ended up cheating on me in my fifth year.

Sometimes I think about all that pussy I could have gotten in college and there was a lot of it being thrown at me.. the way things turned out I don't think it is a stretch to say that I wasted four fucking years on a whore.

In my opinion wrap your dick and fuck anything that moves while you're young.

If I were you knowing what I know now... it's better to be 40 years old and know that it's something that you don't think is worth your time then to be sitting around jerking off wishing you have gotten your dick wet when all of your friends and all the girls and all the guys were busy fucking.

There's nothing on the other side of this life that is going to Pat you on the back for being sexually frustrated for 20 years.

DeadOhioSky88 · 2017-05-31T00:42:10+00:00

To be honest, if you are MGTOW, you should take a hard look at how you were raised. Your parents were probably well meaning in how they raised you. However, you need to accept, reject, or modify what you've been taught to reflect your current life experiences and world view.

Being MGTOW is more about your ability to be a free thinker than anything else my friend.

Don't waste your youth chasing skirts.

Find passion outside of relationships. No one can take that away from you.

Edit: So, that's a long way of saying that for me, I don't care for casual sex. Never have, never will. Sex is not the end all be all. I've felt millions better after hammering a 30 mile bike ride and having my system flooded with the steady flow of endorphins for hours afterward. Hope that helps.

omonicor · 2017-05-31T02:13:16+00:00

What about making a r/AskMGTOW sub?

goadsaid · 2017-05-31T02:20:37+00:00

I don't actively waste time looking for it but if it comes it comes. It's less often than if I were pussy hunting but honestly not much less.

Ironically, since bars and clubs are such terrible places to pick up women anyway, you probably will do just as well to fuck the random grocery store cashiers and ditch the nightlife shit.

Nightlife is a HUGE (read GIANT) waste of time and money. Unless you truly are something else (rich, handsome and charming), I don't see much happening for you at the local pub. Even those ultra good looking guys go home empty handed because women don't go to clubs to fuck just like they don't go on tinder to date.

2017-05-31T00:18:19+00:00

[removed]

LiveFromArizona · 2017-05-31T00:31:04+00:00

Put a ring on it (not likely) or forget it. Casual sex helped create this mess in the first place.

ikhwan_arif · 2017-05-31T04:33:19+00:00

A man has got to do what a man has got to do.

justicecantakeanap · 2017-05-31T08:24:51+00:00

I see it like a burning fire you gently avoid to walk into while walking in a forest

2017-05-31T10:44:34+00:00

It's about the same as casual hand grenade juggling.

2017-05-31T13:16:41+00:00

Impending false rape accusation if she regrets it.

Ayy-Mayy-ZoSuperwoah · 2017-05-31T22:17:30+00:00

Casual sex becomes more dangerous to peruse with every next year and every next oppressive anti-male law that arrives on the scene. If you absolutely have to see how completely uninspiring sex is, go have a single one night stand and wear a condom that you brought yourself. After that, let us know how much a of a waste of time it was.

I've had my fair share of one night stands, and I was in a relationship with a nymphomaniac for 7 years. I've had plenty of sex and I can barely remember any of it. There were a couple of good moments during the LTR but mostly it was just something you do to pass the time and connect with somebody. Like shaking hands and having a beer with an old friend, but with a woman.

Mefic_vest · 2017-06-01T00:21:11+00:00

I have never liked casual sex. It leaves a hollow feeling inside my chest. I much prefer to just remain alone, because at least the pain of loneliness is just ephemeral - it can be filled. The hollow feeling from casual sex (much like severe hunger pains, only much higher up in the chest) is the pain of having an intimate physical connection without the corresponding intimate emotional connection. It is a void that cannot be filled because the sex has already occurred but the emotional connection that needs to accompany it will never occur.

It’s why I have never intentionally engaged in casual sex. The casual aspect of it was always engineered by the other party.

Title	AskMGTOW: How do you guys view casual sex?
Author	WhatMixedFeelings
Upvotes	10
Comments	20
Date	May 31, 2017 12:08 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6ebarf/askmgtow_how_do_you_guys_view_casual_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/askmgtow-how-do-you-guys-view-casual-sex.584676 https://theredarchive.com/post/584676

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