I've been a lurker here for an extremely long time and I finally made a new account to give myself an online voice (was suspended from posting for the last 4 years).

I'm 19 going on 20 next month. My single mother was always an extremely hard worker as she had to provide for 3 kids after our father walked out. She's from a 3rd world country and she wasn't really around because she was a travel NP. I'd see her every so often and she'd sort of give me the nudge into the family life sort of thinking, but always gave me subtle notions of the MGTOW ways. I thank her immensely for this. My mother and I are actually really close now as she has finally started slowing down on the work as I was the last child to become independent. She's actually a true gift. She understands my thinking entirely and actually seems to really approve of it because she realizes I've always been "a different breed" aside from my siblings. I was always antisocial in nature and looked down upon society as a whole because I could see through the bullshit. I called myself a people watcher because that's what I enjoyed doing. If I wasn't in class I was at home in my room unbothered by the realities of every day living seeking knowledge. I wanted to be the greatest. I took a brief break from those aspirations as soon as I discovered an HB10 (quite literally I scored the hottest gal in the entirety of the high school scene). I am wealthy as I invested in cryptocurrency and lived lavishly which is why I scored her (realized after the fact) it was 3 yeas of mind blowing sex which eventually degraded into constant fights between us to. I had serious issues with her mentality and thinking as I wanted us to be a "power couple" that was both socially adept and knowledgeable. We broke up probably 30-40 times because every time she wouldn't live up to what I wanted her to I would call it quits. She'd beg and beg, make all the promises in the world, tell me she would change. Shit never changed, but I clung to the hope she would. This entire relationship I was so focused on changing her and building her up that I completely forgot about myself and my own goals. I remember the day I walked downstairs into my room and looked at my computer--I hadn't touched it once in over 2 years--why? I was too busy partying and living life lavishly when I could have been grinding levels irl. It was at that moment I went back to my roots and decided enough was enough. If this women couldn't heed my advice after this many years and do even the most simple tasks for me after I provided her completely free living arrangements then none of the women would. I finally realized the true nature of women after I took my first glance through her phone... after 3 years. She was cheating on me with multiple men for the last 8 months. (I tried taking sex from her as she was extremely horny) I felt indifferent and I no longer cared, I packed all her stuff up and brought it to her grandma's house and changed the house code. No notice or anything. I had confided in another person too much, I gave too much away while receiving almost nothing in return.

I had literally turned a blind eye to the plethora of red flags in our relationship, cast aside my own life's goals, and gave her everything.

It was then I decided no other women was worth my time if I had already wasted an entire 3 years on one.