First of all, I hope the "Field Report" tag is appropriate here.

The experience I'm about to share has been a very good lesson to me, and an eye opener as to how useful TRP has been to me. I will try to keep details vague as the situation involves a woman who has quite a big following on social media.

About me: I'm 26 years old, currently in the last months of my getting my PhD, graduated as an engineer before that. I got my weight under control these past years after being obese for years, and I've started seeing A LOT of interest from women who wouldn't have looked at me a few years ago. After being approached by more women, I read a lot of blog articles on Rollo Tomassi's website, and started getting a better understanding of hypergamy and male vs female sexual strategies.

So, I joined this girl's community about a year ago, she's a streamer and a youtuber with a big following. She was a couple years older than me, and she was in a relationship, and lived with a guy she met in her own community. From what I can gather, she made the first move, and probably coerced him into a relationship using her following (which was lower but rising quite quickly at this point). The twist is: she was practically begging him to get married, but that guy kept saying no. She also talked about having kids, but he wouldn't hear it. She put on this facade of being hopelessly in love with him, called him the love of her life, called his parents her in-laws, and used the pressure of her community to force him into talking about children, and get a commitment from him.

I didn't think anything of it, and I initially wasn't interested by that girl. She was good looking, but not my type, and her being older than me did not help either. But I started feeling like she was showing quite a bit of interest, but in a very sneaky way. She started using the same language I was using, she started basically echoing everything I was doing, and I felt like she was constantly trying to impress me. I also played games with her a few times, and that's where she asked about my life situation, and was quite interested when I told her about what I was studying and what my life goals were. We also did have a lot of things in common, and naturally clicked, so it was always nice to interact with her.

It then started escalating, where any word I would utter in her community would heavily influence her behaviour, whether it be in the content she produced on youtube, or on other social media, as well as on streams. She acted like a little girl around me, tried to look attractive, tried any way she could to get my attention, as long as it wasn't too publicly obvious. She also kept sneaking references to stuff I had posted on my own social media, and it even got to the point where she sneakily said my name in some of her videos, and dropping some "I love you" as well. Sneaky enough that you would only catch it if you were really aware. Same for other signs where body language reading was really helpful to get an understanding of the situation. To test her, I took some distance, and that's when she started posting more and more flirty pictures online and sending stronger messages. There were also song covers involved and a LOT of other signs, she really couldn't have made it more obvious if she wanted (at least to me).

We were both living in a different country, but had planned to go back to the same country when my degree would be done, and when her work visa would be over in the country she was in (which coincidentally were going to happen around the same time).

She knew she wouldn't get a marriage out of her bf, and that she wouldn't get kids, and it didn't take a genius to realize what she was planning. At the same time, she could not be too obvious, because of the whole community watching, her still being in a relationship. Her bf handled a lot of the social media work too, and being in another country, she was quite dependent on him. (Basically tried to trap him in a situation where she would depend on him so much he would have to stay. Damn the more I analyze that, the more I wonder how I did not notice the 50 red flags beforehand)

But I realized she was simply trying to "keep me on the hook" for another year, until we were both done with what we were doing. So I confronted her, and told her I would not be a plan B, or wait for anything, and that if she was really serious, she would need to dump her boyfriend because I was not going to wait. => Now I'm not entirely sure about that direct confrontation (ultimatum, how desire cannot be negotiated, etc...). But in my situation, one thing was clear: I was not going to wait and be husband material later down the road if she was not ready to leave her relationship right now. She had also shown signs of resentment about her bf, albeit quite restrained still.

She sent quite a strong sign that she was ready to leave the relationship (and she was making tons of changes in her personal life). But I pressed her again. Something inside me was telling me: "You're getting played. These are always words, never actions. She's just playing the clock". And when I put more pressure on her, she completely dodged the confrontation and commented on something irrelevant in the messages I had sent her. That's when I simply blocked her and moved on.

It came to the point where, after months of manipulation and desperately trying to both keep a hopeless relationship going and to secure a high potential future husband, she had now realized I was not going to leave her any margin, and she was trying to manipulate me further, and gaslight me if necessary (hence the covert signs, and no overt confirmation at any time). She then came out publicly and flipped the situation to make it look like she got betrayed by someone she knew, and how I had been running after her, completely destroying my reputation in her community (which I was not a part of anymore, so I couldn't give two shits about it). And that was a huge contrast from her trying to make me look so good right before that, building my ego, making me feel important. That was as long as I was serving her imperative, as long as I shut my mouth, and just played the part. I just moved from the situation, knowing fully well that even if she could fool a whole community, her and I knew exactly what happened.

Now, no relationship actually occured, but I still felt like sharing because it did teach me a lot. I know that past me would have strolled along like a complete idiot. Getting that kind of attention from a woman with this kind of following felt like the perfect trap. But putting things back into context and into reality: I knew I was of way higher value than her. Woman in her late 20s, looking for someone to settle down with, with an illusion of fame and importance that will subside once she gets older. She is self conscious of that situation, and so am I, but most people in these communities only see the "untouchable internet persona", and they are obviously massive blue pills. And I would have been one of these people a few years ago.

So huge lessons for me: know your worth. Don't settle early, especially before reaching your potential. Strip down any illusion of social status and go for the raw facts and biology. Also: do not give a fuck about what other people think of you. I know I would have been terrified to block her, knowing that she would obviously destroy my reputation, thinking about what people would say about me, what my image would be. No fucks given. No attachment. Not being defined by anyone's perception. Pure, raw facts of knowing my potential and not needing an external source or some ego stroking to make me feel better.

A few years ago, I would have caught feelings, I would have tagged along, and maybe would've got burnt in the end because she stayed in a position where she could keep both doors open. I now sit back and watch her self esteem drop as the years go by, knowing her relationship will come to an end, and down the line, when she tries chasing a suitable guy when she is in her 30s and she has lost most of her appeal, she will think "maybe I fucked up". I'm also completely satisfied about this development because that means I have no strings attached, and sky is the limit as far as my career goes. Also feels like I dodged a potential manipulator and a gaslighter, which feels REALLY good.