Shutting Up: The Golden Rule for Speech and Social Dynamics

Most guys talk way too much. I know I have for the majority of my life.

The paradoxical nature of words is that fewer are generally superior to more.

"Good things, when short, are twice as good. The quintessence of the matter is more effective than a whole farrago of details." -Baltasar Gracián

Shutting up will help you in business, with women, and with your goals. Sounds simple right? Maybe so. But few fully understand this simple rule, and even fewer properly implement it. Our lizard brains take can easily override critical thought patterns once we enter into the heat of social situations, something that can only be controlled with years of deliberate practice.

1) Words are cheap and rarely persuade.

People are rarely persuaded by words. The truth is seen, not heard. Anyone can use strings of words to craft the evidence to their liking, thus the supply is high and demand low. The only true way to convince and persuade is through action, something no one can dispute. Thus, the fewer words used in matters of persuasion, the more time is left for action. When you use more words, you inherently decrease validity and lose credibility.

"True eloquence consists of saying all that is needed and only what is needed." -La Rochefoucauld

2) Words can be used against you, but rarely gain you any favours.

Speaking more than necessary oft reveals more than desired. Machiavellians love people who speak verbosely as this as it gives them ammunition future battles and manipulations. Anything said can be used as litigation against you at a later point. Even if what you say is pure and innocent, do not be disillusioned that you will gain any favour by disclosing your innermost thoughts, goals, and desires. Anything that you declare can only either be used against you in the case of failure or will decrease the value of your accomplishment as the real can never rival the unending landscape of the imagination.

"There is always time to add a word, never to withdraw one." Baltasar Gracián

3) Words and socioeconomic status are inversely correlated.

The lower and middle classes talk up and exaggerate with words in an attempt to convince others of their ideas and convey their status. The upper class uses fewer words as they have nothing to prove and have witnessed the negative, or at best neutral effects of speaking too much on their business, relationships, and finances. Furthermore, the upper class simply doesn't see the point in speaking much as little is ever accomplished.

4) Words slow you down.

Speaking too much wastes precious time and, by definition, in it's verboseness is a waste of time. Everything good becomes better when articulated with fewer words. As a bonus to this you will save time and be more productive.

5) Words make you seem more common.

Common people ask for explanations and instructions. The powerful take bold action and ask questions later. Words are cheap, bold action is rare. People taking bold action are too busy to speak verbosely.

"It is a well-known truth that talkative folk rarely have much sense whether in dealing with the matter itself or its formal treatment." -Baltasar Gracián

6) Words make you seem weak.

Words are often used to seek validation and tend to immediately make you look weak. When you talk less, people will feel that they need to validate themselves to you instead of vice versa. This heir of mystery increases your power and image to those around you. Furthermore, the more you say the less in control you appear, and the less powerful and reliable you seem to those around you.

7) Words are rarely well received.

People want to talk about themselves. No one really cares about what you are saying lest it include them or their own interests in some way. Thus, the majority of conversation should lay on the side of those around you. The more one speaks, especially about himself, the less he is esteemed by both the common and aristocracy.