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attheisstt
[–]RunawayGrain96 points97 points98 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Kick her out of the house and hire a maid.
[–]lie-deflector35 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Cheaper that way probably.
[–]neutron_1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't need a maid when you don't have a house. (The court gives it to her. And your dog. And your assets. And your 70% of income.)
[–]scotFree660 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly what I would say!
[–]NonPasteurizedMilk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Would probably offer more sex anyway.
[–]ustael49 points50 points51 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I've literally been in this situation. I kicked her to the curb and all of the sudden, my house was so much cleaner and I'm no longer broke. And I have a kegerator.
[+][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ustael14 points15 points16 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had to save pictures, for my custody battle, showing how bad things were and how I fixed it up for my son. Here are some of the before and after pics showing how she treated my house.
http://imgur.com/a/sdX8K
[–]grrrallnamestakengrr2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Cant upvote twice for the kegerator
[–]ustael2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's funny because we were always STRUGGLING. I never had any money. She was dressing our newborn son in ratty clothes. Now, me and my son have a comfortable living, he is dressed nice, I brew beer monthly and I'm able to put some money away unlike when I was in the relationship! Cheers!
[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Despite paying $1,500 per month in alimony and $1,000 per month in child support, I still have more money now than when she lived with me. Her house and car are newer and nicer than mine, but somehow I left her high and dry. Funny how that works.
[–]Onkel_Adolf1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have a drum kit, and I beat that fucker like it stole my crack.
[–]toerrisbadsyntax31 points32 points33 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
"TURN OFF THE FUCKING SHOPPING CHANNEL, GET OFF ETSY, EBAY, AND YOUR ASS, AND FUCKING EARN YOUR KEEP OR GET OUT! YOU'RE THE REASON WE'RE BROKE - I CAN PROVE IT BECAUSE I ALSO PAY THE BILLS AND HAVE ALL YOUR EXPENDITURES NOTED"
[–]MaestroLogical35 points36 points37 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
2 weeks later
"Here's the divorce papers asshole. Start packing now cause the house will soon be mine, car too most likely and kiss the kids goodbye cause I've already got them hating you for doing this to me."
[–]dot_dot_beep28 points29 points30 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You go gurl
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/020/395/takeyourhatespeechoutofthiscampus.gif
[–]throwaway_worthaway10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Another 2 weeks later
Wife dies in mysterious 50 clown car pileup while 7 clown snipers (who are both snipers of clowns and clowns themselves) somehow all miss the many clowns present and simultaneously shoot her in the head, clownsploding it. Afterwards she is painted as a clown and given a clown funeral to cover up the mistake.
[–]ijpqenbfp 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
clown snipers (who are both snipers of clowns and clowns themselves)
So a clown clown sniper?
[–]throwaway_worthaway1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, or a clown sniper (or sniping) clown. I just liked how ambiguous clown sniper was, so I left it that way, which enabled me to add more clowns into the comment.
[–]hollybegin4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Don't care! I'm not even sure they're mine...."
[–]toerrisbadsyntax3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who said I married the bitch?
can do like the last one did... run cry to mommy coz I wont marry... go get knocked up by chad and come crying back 2 years later...
yeah, I've experienced both sides of this coin already there junior.
[–]Onkel_Adolf0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"911, what is your emergency?"---"HE HIT ME!"......cut to brutha getting shot by police...
[–]toerrisbadsyntax1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
doesn't work here.... internal and external 24hr surveillance... sure, call the cops, I'll hand them the evidence in 4k
[–]Spondaios2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's why you're broke. Spent all money on surveillance eq, LOL
[–]dot_dot_beep21 points22 points23 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because you cost more than you're worth, bitch.
[–]Teflon081922 points23 points24 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lets switch places then. You do the 9-5 job, and I'll stay at home and watch soap operas.
[–]Iseewhateyesee21 points22 points23 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mgtow
[–]knightwhosaysneet 20 points21 points22 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Treat her like a vacuum cleaner. If it doesn't work, you replace it.
[–]lonewolf-chicago17 points18 points19 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Nowadays I think it goes without saying that the bitch would never be living with me. However I was in this exact situation when I was living with a girlfriend back in my college days. At the end of the school year I gently patted her on the bottom and sent her back home.
She had a horrendous psychotic episode and had to be on medication for a long time.
Not long after we broke up she got pregnant out of wedlock to a biker dude I believe she remains on medication and now she is a fat pig. Hollah!!
[–]gravelheart 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Taking care of a modern home is a 4-hour a week job, tops.
She's just a freeloading parasite.
[–]rebuildingMyself8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
"well if the house is going to be a disaster area no matter what, get off your ass and get a job"
[–]Mickey_One7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
See if you can have a rational discussion about WHY you're broke...and good luck with that.
[–]LordLukste6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
See, the wise thing would be to not be married at all.
This is the exact reason I filed for divorce.
[–]hollybegin2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"So get your black ass out of the house, get a job and pitch in a little. I don't own you shit....How about that?"
[–]Onkel_Adolf1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What horseshit...black men don't have jobs.
[–]MyHearse 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Srsly?
Come on dude.
Lol.
[–]Onkel_Adolf0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]Onkel_Adolf0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's only at +2...don't you have anything better to do than fantasize about me?
[–]manifesto181 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cut the money off
[–]allowsnackbar1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I spend about 4 hours a week cleaning and doing maintenance on my small house and it's clean enough to pass muster when one of my neatfreak/cleanfreak relatives comes over.
It's not hard work in any way, and I usually turn on some podcasts while I'm doing it.
I honestly cannot fucking understand the beef that women have with housework.
[–]Kart0ffel1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The beef is they have to do something and the vast majority of women have a princess complex and see this work as being below them.
My mother used to bitch so fucking much about doing the laundry and doing the dishes. All you have to do is throw the clothes in a machine, and the dishes in a machine and all the heavy lifting is done for you. All you have to do after the fact is put them away.
But this, this was too fucking much.
[–]DrDisastor1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You could reduce the task to a robot that you simply had to open an app on your phone and tell it to do these tasks and they would bitch about that effort. Women are impossible to please.
[–]Kart0ffel1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You could give them the world, and they'll ask why you didn't give them the solar system.
[–]Prometheus4441 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
By not getting into it in the first place.
[–]SnapshillBot0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Archived for your convenience
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[–]BukM10 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"We?"
[–]WanderlustYouth0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Feed her "soul food" until heart attack arrives, since most black women don't really ever exercise; as a black guy I speak from experience.
[–]wasthereadogwithyou0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf?! I'm a black man in the 70's now?!
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[–]RunawayGrain96 points97 points98 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]lie-deflector35 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]neutron_1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]scotFree660 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NonPasteurizedMilk1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ustael49 points50 points51 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ustael14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]grrrallnamestakengrr2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ustael2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Onkel_Adolf1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]toerrisbadsyntax31 points32 points33 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]MaestroLogical35 points36 points37 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]dot_dot_beep28 points29 points30 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Onkel_Adolf1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway_worthaway10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ijpqenbfp 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway_worthaway1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hollybegin4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]toerrisbadsyntax3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Onkel_Adolf0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]toerrisbadsyntax1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Spondaios2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dot_dot_beep21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Teflon081922 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Iseewhateyesee21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]knightwhosaysneet 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lonewolf-chicago17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gravelheart 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rebuildingMyself8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mickey_One7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LordLukste6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hollybegin2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Onkel_Adolf1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]MyHearse 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Onkel_Adolf0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]Onkel_Adolf0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]manifesto181 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]allowsnackbar1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kart0ffel1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DrDisastor1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kart0ffel1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Prometheus4441 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnapshillBot0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BukM10 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WanderlustYouth0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wasthereadogwithyou0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link