There are women at my workplace and I have to deal with them. Since I can't avoid women entirely, I need some tips on how to deal with women in a professional environment and nonprofessional environment.

BukM1 · 2017-02-13T10:16:57+00:00

women are easier to deal with than men, just treat them like children pretend to care and let them think you are stupid ("i dunno" is a perfect response to being asked what you think) and you cant go wrong.

I worked at a place and the HR department thought i was a "Bimbo" they literally called me that once, in reality of course i was completely fucking leagues ahead of them and significantly more intelligent that they (and many people there) the illusion was shattered when they started to read my work.

"But you sound so clever" was what made me laugh when they read it (it was technical work too).

Stupid people tend to think in stupid terms, they are very easily manipulated.

Migtaosammich · 2017-02-13T04:54:43+00:00

Just DNGAF.

In both cases. The non-professional case is comes naturally. But better with time.

In professional cases be courteous and responsible, and No fucks given for gossip, fraternizing, personal discussions, and the like. Idle chit-chat is somewhat disarming and helps keep a pleasant demeanor, but keep it to a minimum to focus on work.

mofono · 2017-02-13T09:40:42+00:00

Just act like a blue pill nice guy and women pretty much stay away from you.

Folwart · 2017-02-13T05:42:49+00:00

Do not kowtow. Do not entertain. Do not help unless they have helped you first, and only help in return in professional capacity, in equal measure, but only if you are confident that situation has zero potential personal culpability.

Most of all, do not have sex with them, not even in the butt over lunch hour.

2017-02-13T07:26:30+00:00

"hello" or "morning"

then do your work.

its all i do, they're non existent to me after a hello.

some broad kep[t asking me as i walked past, what you having for lunch today, what did you have to dinner last nite yadda yadda...

i shrug every time and move on..

Talkytalktalk · 2017-02-13T12:38:53+00:00

"Uh huh."

"Really? That's interesting."

"Aw poor dear"

"Just haven't found the right one"

2017-02-13T14:47:25+00:00

Wear a wedding ring. This makes you appear less threatening. If not, imply you are gay. This makes you less threatening. If you're a black guy, you're totally fucked because you'll be threatening no matter what.

RedFoxOnFire · 2017-02-13T12:59:12+00:00

1: Be unnoticeable: Try to be completely average as far as appearance goes. If you dress too nice, or not nice enough, you become the target of gossip. The only thing that should be noticed is the quality of your work, and that's something between you and your boss.

2: Don't gossip: In fact, try not to get into any casual conversation. Women are notorious gossipers, and I can't advise strongly enough your need to NEVER get involved with gossip. Truth is they're going to talk shit about you, and everyone else. It's female nature, but to purposefully put yourself in this conversation is always asking for trouble. If you get caught in gossip they'll try to get you to agree with their horrible opinions of your co-workers and then use that against you. "Mary is such a slut, don't you think so?" ~10 minutes later "Mark said that Mary is such a slut." Even your casual conversations will be gossiped about, and broken apart. Best bet, try to seem boring and focus on your own work.

3: Never allow yourself to be alone with a woman in the office. Even in the break room, always ensure you have a witness (preferably male), and never find yourself alone in a room with a close door. Even if nothing happens in that room, her, or one of her office friends might see you two alone and start a nasty rumor because "reasons"

This previous rule gets tricky if your boss is a woman (which brings a whole new set of problems), as sometimes your boss will want to speak to you alone. Try to encourage these meetings to be either in your own comfort zone through body language. Seem more relaxed in an open area. If she calls you to your office, purposefully look uncomfortable or leave the door open. If the office has a window, ensure that the blinds are open and stand in front of it so people outside the office can see you. If it's going to be a more serious conversation ask to have a fellow employee or HR person to be there. (While HR is not preferable, as most of them are women, your boss won't want to have them there either)

Don't eat lunch with them alone, or in a group where women outnumber men.

5: Never allow them to touch you. I know it's weird, but believe it or not, they do it. I had one boss (female) who tried playing with my hair once. I freakin' jumped out of my seat and surprised her so badly it ensured she never touched me again.

6: Always smile. Women are emotional and do things based upon feelings. If you're grumpy around them, they'll pick up on it and will ALWAYS take things personally. Always smile and be polite around EVERYONE so they don't think they're any different from anyone else. This is also to ensure you're not promoting "Bad office vibes", because if women get uncomfortable around you they might try to sabotage you.

7: Never volunteer for non-work related shit. Happens to the best of us where Old Sally wants to throw an office party and needs your help with "Just one thing" that always turns out to be 12 additional things. Best thing is for women not to know you enough to ask you to do something for them. Remember, in a woman's mind a man "steps up" for something, but a woman doesn't ask a man for anything unless she's 100% certain he'll say yes.

8: Never correct a woman. Never Ever Correct A Woman. Even if she's wrong, and everyone knows she's wrong, let her make the damn mistake. If you see her making a mistake, let her do it, and (if possible) have a solution waiting to be implemented as soon as the mistake is made (and known to all). There's a trick to fixing their office mistakes. If you keep it between the two of you, she'll think you did her a favor and will rely on you to fix all her mistakes. If you do it too publicly she'll think you're trying to sabotage her. Let her make the mistake, let that mistake become public on it's own, and then be like "Oh, here's a fix (for the office). Crisis averted." If she thanks you, simply shrug it off as if you did it for the office and not for her.

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