I struggled to post this under a throwaway as it perpetuates my feelings of living a lie. I wish I had the courage to post this on my primary reddit account (which is trivially identifiable as me).

I've been lurking on MGTOW for a few months, and feel like you were the spark of light I needed in my life.

Background: Mid-30s, married, 3 solid children, attend the most selective private schools in the area, and the city I live in feels like a small town. I've enjoyed a fantastic career, and have spent the last handful of years at the world's largest social network (side thought: I can't follow 1 of the 3 typical reddit separation cliches!). My wife is a very attractive, very outgoing, fantastic mom and overall great amazing person/friend.

With all of these awesome things, I've felt nothing but misery for years, mainly due to being unloved & feel trapped in my life. I became so numb to life I couldn't feel anything, until last weekend. Thanks to a fun evening with a hypergamy (maybe even a reverse-hypergamy) I now see the error in the way I've been living recently. It was my idea to initiate, it was my idea to stop before it became "real", and it will be my idea if I want to proceed or dismiss in the future.

I could not derive this level of happiness through status, career, or stuff. I only discovered it by doing something I wanted and it feels incredible. I see hope & light with in the MGTOW principles & will now focus on more things (books! projects! whatever!) that I want to do. Thank you all.