Anyone here always been MGTOW?

Mrfixitright · 2015-05-18T11:22:32+00:00

Been this way since 13. I learn from watching. And what i've seen is not good. Every single relative i've talked to at a party, once they get a few beers in them and there out of ear-shot of there wives told me the exact same thing "don't get married, it's not worth it".

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-05-18T13:27:02+00:00

I wouldn't say that I never had the desire for a relationship with a woman, nor indeed do I see that as the definition of MGTOW.

But I never suffered from a compulsion to place "having a relationship with a woman" as a very high priority (much less as THE highest priority) such that it would override my rational & logical desire to live life on my own terms (and be in control of my life; not giving in to manipulations or "shit tests" etc).

To that extent, or under that definition, I have in fact always been what is now (recently) called "MGTOW".

I kind of vacillated on the "marriage & kids" thing -- at times I was in the "I'm never getting married" camp (although that was chiefly more of an "I'm never getting locked into THAT kind of a hen-pecked relationship.") -- but at other times I was sincerely contemplating what it would be like to have a LARGE family (i.e. lots of kids, like maybe a half-dozen or more).

In fact, in my mid-twenties I even broke up with one X-year relationship specifically because she didn't want ANY kids, and she knew I wanted several -- so it was a "we don't want the same things" breakup on my part -- she'd even tried conceding that she might/would be willing to have 1 or 2 kids, but I put the kibosh on that because to me that isn't something you can compromise on (it isn't a mathematical average of some (0 + 6) / 2 = 3 kind of thing).

I knew without question -- I'd seen families like this -- that kind of a "compromise" (of IMO entirely incompatible life plans) leads to several BAD things: 1) a dysfunctional marriage (any all problems with the kids would become the "YOU are the one who wanted children" kind of argument); 2) psychologically/emotionally damaged children (you mean Mom didn't really want any of us?); and finally 3) it becomes a source of the female CONTROLLING the male (the kids, being something HE wants, become a means of manipulating him -- they become literal "pawns" in a chess game).

And I simply REFUSED to even contemplate, and absolutely would NOT have a wife/children under those circumstances.

Worse of course -- is that as the legal/societal view of marriage (2.0) has evolved (devolved?) -- I have come to believe that it is almost impossible to marry & have a family without inherently ending up in that scenario in one way or another: ergo no relationship is worth the risk anymore (the game has been rigged, and the probability of success is waaaaay to low).

The thing is that I have been in relationships, including multi-year relationships -- but I never allowed a female to "move in on" what I deemed to be *my* territory: meaning not only have they never been allowed to move in with me (into my home or apt -- no "playing house"), but I didn't let them even establish a "presence" or "foothold" within it (they don't get to dictate or indeed to even suggest what furnishings or decorations are present) -- I guess I've sort of always inherently understood the process by which females establish 'pwnership' of males by controlling the "home" and engaging in outward displays of "ownership" of males (even at a young age, while in school, with seemingly simple like girls keeping their books in their guys locker, etc) and have subsequently seen far too many men fall into the trap of "trickle pwnage" (class ring, borrowed clothing, letter jacket... use of his car, and so on).

I suppose -- if one were to use "redpiller" terminology, I have always "held frame", and played the "dread game" -- although it was never (and is not) something that I played as some "role" or behavioral-technique... it's just the way I've always been.

(I suppose further TRP would say that I have "natural alpha" traits there, and maybe so... I've certainly always been able to be "in charge" of just about any org I am a part of, and frequently get kind of "pushed" into leadership roles {although from my perspective it's more like being "sucked in" via a vacuum of indecisiveness by others, so if you want to see anything GET DONE and not be total shite, well you gotta step up} -- but I think in terms of especially relationships with women, but general orgs & groups as well; then if we're going to use the hierarchy-construct terms, I've generally been more of the "Sigma male", than an "alpha", cause I don't HAVE to be in charge for ego-posturing reasons {I've always found most "alphas" -- especially the PUA types -- to be rather hilarious to watch, and the faux-wanna-be "alphas" are even funnier}.)

One result of that -- is that I really haven't had what I would call "bad" relationships with women. No women ever had the ability/chance to "divorce rape" me (or even really "betray my trust") in any way shape or form -- because I was never that naive/trusting/locked-into any relationship (not even the multi-year ones) -- it occurs to me that I suppose from women's perspective, they would probably say I had "commitment issues", but that wouldn't really be true (I had no problems with "fidelity" for example, and never engaged in the "game" bullshit of dating more than one girl at a time -- IOW while I maintained "control" of relationships, and kept them limited in nature, I didn't do so via "plate spinning" {to use another TRP term}.)

LOL, I just remembered an odd bit of (somewhat humorous) trivia -- at HS graduation I was voted "least likely to get married" -- and that wasn't due to any sort of "he's gay" insinuation, apparently my classmates had (unbeknownst to me) seen/concluded that I wouldn't put up with the BS that are a sort of precursor necessary for men to get married (i.e. the "pussy chasing" that invariably leads to becoming "pussy whipped"). I suppose that was probably most obvious in contrasting me with my brother (on a few years difference in age) as he was rather well known for having been "pwned" in that way (chiefly by his grade-school "crush" who he eventually married and handed his balls over to).

...

Gawds... thinking back though, maybe I was just "saved by circumstance" from my brother's fate.

Because I too had a grade-school (and through middle school) "crush" on a girl... but then her dad got some job overseas and she "poof" disappeared out of the picture (as, alas did several other of my close friends in fairly rapid succession {i.e. within like 3 years they all moved away*}) -- which kind of caused me to become a "loner" for a while -- as my circle of friends, which for several years had been fairly tightly-knit (and were relatively popular AND smart and I guess basically as a group or clique we had "ruled" things in our class/school in a fashion - i.e. in terms of basically getting our way, and having a wider group of kids "socially" circling around us).

LOL, funny how you forget these things, or only "see" them in a different context on reflection decades later. Guess I never really thought of myself as ever having been among the "popular" or "cool" kids (because I never put any effort into appearing as such) -- but I guess for a number of years I actually was... odd to think about.

* And I suppose the impact of that, the brutal FINALITY of it -- of kids moving away (back in that era, circa 1970's) -- needs to be explained to younger guys; back then there was NO facebook, NO email (because no internet or even computers), and in fact NO cell-phones, heck where I lived most families didn't even have a "private line" much less did kids get to use the phone (think rotary dial phones with massively expensive long distance charges to call anyone that lived even just 30 miles away: as in a single 1/2 hour phone call would probably cost more than you could earn mowing lawns all summer) -- so when someone "moved away" well, it was basically as if they had flat-out DIED, you just lost contact entirely... at best you might exchange a letter or two via US Mail (snail mail), but even that wasn't likely -- and that was pretty much equally true whether they moved out of the country (as my "crush" girl's family did), or to a different state, or just to a different part of the same state (i.e. like the other side of a major city).

Isaiah4verse1 · 2015-05-18T14:12:06+00:00

Yup. I've been a MGTOW since I was 14. I have been disgusted with female nature all my life. I did beta things up before though.

married_mgtow · 2015-05-18T15:26:46+00:00

Never consciously until very recently in my life (after finding r/TheRedPill).

Am at work but I can very briefly go over it.

When I look back on my life, I realize that my interactions with girls in high school, then college, though extremely naive, idealistic, and basically serial oneitis, I completely understand some of the ... interesting reactions I got out of females when I failed to conform to their initial impression that I was going to be a "beta".

This was mostly because I was hopelessly socially clueless for most of my youth. I think that my shyness actually often came off as either "aloof" or "dickish" and I often found out (too late) that I was being hit on by girls I liked. Not that this changed my behavior or encouraged me to go after girls with more confidence.

I was actually called a "man-whore" in college, which I didn't understand at the time, but now understand that it most likely meant "why aren't you dating me?" since I was friends with many girls and this was perceived as flirting, and they couldn't understand why I wouldn't start spending all my money on them.

The school I went to was private christian university, so if any of you have experience with these crazy bitches (the running joke at school was that most of them came to school for their "MRS." degree) you may know what I'm talking about.

The few girlfriends I did have pursued me, and I indiscriminately said yes; ultimately causing more unhappiness than simply not dating. Not that I wised up. I am now happily married to the person that I think is the closest thing to a unicorn I've ever encountered, a woman who is intelligent, works (and makes as much as me) and contributes around the house, is doing a bang up job of raising my kids, and if that ever ends I will simply never try to date or get married again, and just focus on my goals and my daughters. Life is too short.

tl;dr not by choice, but kinda

Aspiring_Hermit · 2015-05-18T16:23:33+00:00

I was severely abused as a kid by my feminist aunt (second mom) for being male, and sexually abused by my mother. In high school and for a bit afterwards girls would decide they were going out with me, and thanks to my upbringing I was terrified to say no to a female. As an adult I became reclusive and have always been alone. I enjoy it, I don't feel lonely the way some people might. I'm going to be building a small cabin way up in Colorado soon and with luck, I'll never see another human again.

Toiletsareforbabies · 2015-05-19T02:44:14+00:00

The MGTOW label is fairly new. The idea of The Red Pill is also very recent.

Those are labels which originated in Cyberspace. Internet users seem to have a need for a meme for everything, otherwise it isn't a "thing".

I'd suggest that many men who now proclaim online that they are MGTOW, have been that way for a long time, they just didn't know it. Instead, they would use words such as: Iconoclast, maverick, rebel, free-thinker, truth-seeker, anarchist, anti-establisment type, beatnik, or any other term that they could apply positively to their beliefs and behaviors.

Some of the terms that used to be applied to MGTOW by other people often negatively were: Loner, lone-wolf, misanthrope, weirdo, confirmed bachelor, playboy (one could be considered a playboy in the past for his lifestyle choices that revolved around being single, not just whether he pursued women for sex), and the strong silent type.

Me, I started as a baby going my own way. Then I was a boy going my own way. Now, the Internet would label me as MGTOW.

I've always gone my own way. Like so many other men, we never needed a label.

ShitfacedBatman · 2015-05-19T03:58:41+00:00

I've been MGTOW without really knowing I was MGTOW. Kind of between alpha and beta. Alpha enough to know that it had to be by my rules, but not alpha enough to be pumping and dumping like a high school football jock. Beta enough to lie awake at night feeling lonely as fuck, but not beta enough to go through with being some bitch's bitch.

The result has been very long dry spells. None of them killed me, but I guess there was a lot of pressure from society or something where like maybe there's this dark cloud overhead that's supposed to be "killing me" but in reality, there is no dark cloud overhead at all. I might feel lonely, but there is no dark oppressive cloud putting me there - it's been a myth all along. How weird is that?

ExclusiveAlias · 2015-05-18T11:00:12+00:00

I've honestly had the mindset growing up:

Never getting married

No kids

No Significant Other

Associates with benefits (this is even pushing it) with women as they're honestly generally only good to me for sex, looks, and cuddling (2/3 I can get from a cat).

Solringen · 2015-05-18T16:31:17+00:00

Basically yes, i never had any real problems with women or any sort of irrational hate born of neglect. I would get along fine with some girls and argue with others, just like any other guy. But unlike most other guys, women were always very low on my list of priorities, even when i was like 12 years old. In fact i think the last time i had a legitimate "crush" of any sort was when i was still a little kid in elementary school, like 8 years old. I dont think that quite counts because at that age any attraction is very innocent-like on both sides. In fact i dont even remember who i was attracted to, not her name or her face. But beyond that, i was what is now called MGTOW. I only found out about MGTOW last year, before that i just thought of myself as an outlier. I was and still am in every way just a regular guy, but as i said, i could never be bothered to be seriously interested in women on anything more than a basic physical attractiveness level, and even then such attraction would not make me lose my mind and cause me to think with my dick. I would just acknowledge it and move on, it wouldnt take hold in my head and drive me mad with lust like some guys do. This isnt something i make a concsious effort to do, its very easy for me. Women just don't have that effect on me even though i freely admit that i find many of them attractive.

Yakatonker · 2015-05-19T03:56:05+00:00

Saw hypergamy first hand with my sibling, she was extremely stereotypical going for the bad boys and getting away with shit I could never even dream of getting away with. The cherry on the cake was that my parents told me to protect her because I was a boy at the time and clearly stronger, which completely abdicated her of any responsibility.

Growing up along side my peers I thought they were semi retarded in their juvenile behavior, but referencing red pill philosophy it seems that they were pandering to the gynocentric hierarchy, being the dancing monkey's(zoolander reference) if you will. The men that showed the most amount of maturity were not the ones who chased female validation, but the ones who're absent of it and focused on their hobbies and studies.

HardBounce · 2015-05-18T18:05:04+00:00

I have never wanted to be married but I do enjoy relationships.

Title	Anyone here always been MGTOW?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	11
Date	May 18, 2015 10:11 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/36crja/anyone_here_always_been_mgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/anyone-here-always-been-mgtow.627591 https://theredarchive.com/post/627591

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