I've heard this a lot, and thinking about it, it comes off as pretty dumb to me now, even in cases where you're attracted and/or would have a relationship with them if they were interested. I've certainly had cases when I was younger where I'd pine for a girl I was friends with that would be closer to the classic unrequited love, and it was a bit unhealthy, but even in those instances I can think of a lot of value I've gotten out of the friendship. In others maybe I've got some smooches/sex in some time or another but it never worked out, and we remained friends just fine. I've even had friends I wasn't particularly attracted to and had sex with and it's still worked out now.

Additionally, and I'm sure this isn't an 100% truth, but just reflective of relationships I have been in, which have never lasted over 6 months, I tend to actually feel I've gotten more out of those friendships with women than I have with actual relationships. This is even the case for exes I'm friends with after the fact (after several years of little contact and as we've grown). This is probably largely me, even though I'm never particularly afraid to open up about myself, maybe I try to be something I'm not, or maybe the girls were just not good fits, and the friends are better.

I'm personally trying to figure this out, and I know a good relationship would be immensely satisfying, but I'm starting to think that friendships can be a lot "cleaner" and more honest because there is less at stake. I'm thinking about it because a lot of Greco-Roman philosophers valued friendships even moreso than their duties to family and lovers, but perhaps that's because they were voluntary, and also friendship had a different connotation to these folks.

I just think about it because while I often hang out with my dude friends and we get along fine, and even are pretty open about things, i often fine myself having some of the deepest conversations with my female ones, where we really delve into personal psychology or motivations more deeply.

But long story short, where I am right now, I certainly have female friends I would have sex with, maybe even have a relationship with (although sometimes that prospect is even more terrifying, I have a friend I'm tempted to ask out, but I'm terrified of both yes or no answers, for a multitude of reasons I don't really want to get into, and it's not just "then she wont treat me the same if she says no"). It's funny cause I used to see some validity in the concept of "guys and girls can't be friends" when I used to feel the pain of one who's not interested that I wanted to be with, but now I feel like I can separate those feelings of attraction from the friendship I value.

Just wondering on what folks here take on this is, and also trying to work out my own positions on how to approach interpersonal relationships with people.