On the topic of being a father figure

Morranaii · 2015-03-28T19:59:16+00:00

I answer by asking another question - why you are asking that? Are you going to be a 'father figure' for a kid that's not yours? If yes, why?

I'd say is again what you want to do in life. One accomplishes himself by planting flowers, other by going MGTOW. Someone would love to be a father.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-03-28T22:20:16+00:00

This is a question I've been pondering recently, and for the record has nothing to do with marriage or children.

Well, you can say that, but the reality is that it DOES have to do with both of those things -- at least in an indirect way.

Does being a father figure to someone else make one feel accomplished?

In my experience*, it CAN give you a sense of "accomplishment" ... but it's also a bit of a mixed bag (I suppose just like being a bio-dad).

Because being a "father/mentor" is both rewarding AND at times terribly frustrating -- you aren't training a "pet", nor are you programming a "robot" -- you are dealing with an independent human being, and moreover one who is experiencing the world (and trying to come to grips with their place in it, as well as even just trying to comprehend WTF is going on... both with other people {not the least of which is females} as well as far simpler things like the basic/fundamental "life skills".

I have talked to quite a few men in the MGTOW and Redpill movements, a lot of them have never had a father figure. A lot of them are lost and uncertain, and it pains me to see these men like this, and makes my already disdainful attitude for society more apparent.

And sadly, yes -- not just MGTOW & "Redpill" but IMO the entire western world/society is rife with a whole generation of young men -- the vast MAJORITY of whom have had little or no real "father" in their lives... including, alas those who have grown up in what are (ostensibly) "in tact" nuclear families; dad is technically present, but he's not really doing much (if anything) in terms of "fathering".

Side note: and right there is where it DOES have to do with "marriage & children". The "lost and uncertain" guys that populate redpill, well they are often the sons of single mothers, or of divorced/broken homes -- with little or no contact with their actual father; and that DOES bring us right back to the problematic state of marriage/families in our society.

* I've already written somewhat extensively in past comments on my various experiences as a youth group leader (like over 2 decades ago now... yikes!) and the mentoring I did with them then, as well as my later and continued contact with some of the boys that were in that group as they grew into young men -- including now many years later as they are approaching middle age. You could either look back through my account history, or if someone wants, they (or I) could dig up and link to them.

nigelh · 2015-03-29T11:06:04+00:00

My son used to come out with me and pit crew the race bike from when he was about ten. Then we learnt to scuba dive together. I don't know if I was a father figure but we had a lot of fun together and we drew the line between safe and unsafe activities by talking about it. Frankly he's a better example of a human being than I am and I hope I had a part in that.

oldredder · 2015-03-30T06:31:21+00:00

You certainly can be a father figure, with life experience and compassion, with intellect and skill, to a child that's not your own. Despite being able you really should question: what are you sacrificing by doing this?

clamp down on the squabbles that are plaguing the group at this moment.

No such thing is happening here and there is not a "group". Men going there own way are never a group, by definition.

We have information of value to share but we each are on our own for good.

and Redpill movements, a lot of them have never had a father figure

Redpill is not a movement, the red pill is the full exit from the full total matrix of lies, architecture of fraud of society, which must at all times include all crime, all finance, all military, all nation-states & national borders, all law in all nations, all the time, as well as the minor relations that spin off like street-level con jobs, feminism, racism constructed BY nations and thugs, etc.

Feminism, women, gender-relations & picking up women is but a mere 2% of the total red pill.

a lot of them have never had a father figure. A lot of them are lost and uncertain, and it pains me to see these men like this, and makes my already disdainful attitude for society more apparent. I'm curious as to your thoughts on this matter

The root cause is divorce-rape for cash & prizes: a woman is given money & custody, a man is given homelessness and bankruptcy, so he can't be a father anymore by decree & force of the ultimately corrupt family-court system. If justice be served such laws should be struck down as crimes and those who enacted them & enforced them should be PUT TO DEATH. They have destroyed an entire generation and are no less guilty than Nazis sending Jews to the ovens.

GrnTiger08 · 2015-04-02T05:50:06+00:00

Can you be a father figure to someone who is not genetically related to you?

I believe this is more of mentor/mentee question. I've learned that in our own path of becoming a man, (not necessarily going your own way), we seek guidance whilst teaching what we've learned. In my experience, I'm constantly aware of how my mentors behave. In turn I try to implement their 'masculilne actions' into my own behavior and while I may not grasp or apply everything, it has created a profound effect later on. I also consciously display certain behaviors to those who are my mentees, whether they realize or not. Sometimes I will make it apparent.

Even as MGTOW, we must be both mentor and mentee in our path of self-definition. Without the ability to conceptualize our reality, we could not perceive possible outcomes to our own path in life. If you do not have a mentor find one. If you already have one, find an additional one!

Title	On the topic of being a father figure
Author	95wave
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	March 28, 2015 5:19 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/30m5ev/on_the_topic_of_being_a_father_figure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/on-the-topic-of-being-a-father-figure.628756 https://theredarchive.com/post/628756

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