TLDR; American male (25), South African female (30), travels, whirlwind romance, baby, not working out. Going to miss out on my son growing up and feeling devastated about it.

Shit storm wall of text incoming.. Story time will be very blunt and straight forward. Sorry for poor grammar.

I hope it's worth the read, because I desperately need some solid advice.

At the start of 2017, I was a full on, loud, and proud MGTOW. Half-way through 2018, I find myself in a seriously unfathomable and heavy predicament.

So stepping back to 2016... I had just graduated from a military instituion, played four years of D1 ball, and ended up playing a brief stint in the minors. During that time, I was in a committed long distance relationship with my high school sweet heart.. Shocker, it didn't work out and we wasted our time. Afterwards, I found MGTOW and went on a fucking bender. Party, pump, dump, on repeat machine. Breaking hearts and really loving life with my bros.

Suddenly going into 2017, I got an offer to go play professionally abroad... Straya? Fuck u wot m8? I'm in! Adventure of a lifetime coming in hot and boy was it. So I get there, start playing some ball and was really digging the new vibe down under. The club hooked me up with a nice place to stay, a car, and pretty good pay. I was playing good ball and living life up. Strayans are super receptive of Americans and their women will fight eachother over us. Literally. I tore through them. That was cool. Life was good, but I wanted more.

After season, I decided I wanted to stay in the country a bit longer and explore. Solo road trip? LETS GO!!! I camperize this little honda civic and hit the road, no direction or care in sight. After camping the outback and throwing some boomerangs, I get to the next big city. It's a whole different dealio. Internationals everywhere and I quickly integrated into a group by the beach. Met a hot young British chick and started shacking up with her and her friends. Skating, surfing, and exploring the city most days. Thought about getting part time work, but didnt bother knowing I could make it through to next season.

One day, I was cruising by a cafe and saw her. Gents, this THOT was a 10/10 head turning stunner. The one that's got me in the position I'm in now. I walked right up to her table. Sat down. Introduced myself and she quickly captivated my attention. She sounded and behaved very differently. Odd English accent, interesting mannerisms and facial expressions. She was cold and hard at first, rude really. However my calm demeanour and persistent interest in her, won her South African heart over. I convinced her to take a walk with me to the beach and we have been walking together ever since. Even after I slept with the British chick that night and she knew it.

Second date and she gets her wallet and purse jacked, while we were sizing each other up in a hot tub on the beach. That’s a big deal to lose all your cards and money as an international traveller. No bueno. So I played it cool and told her that I would take care of her, until she was able to get her financials sorted and she promised reimbursement, yeah whatever. Anyway during that time, we got the very heavy hots for one another. I mean we would go at it and completely devour one another. This woman was a yoga model in her prime and I took full absolute advantage of her tight limber beautiful body. No regurts… Yet.

We decide to blow that popsicle stand and hit the road. The Great Ocean Road that is and it was an epic trip. Bouncing from sleepy ocean village all the way back to where I started. Before the end of our trip she asked me to continue the adventure with her to Bali, Indonesia and I couldn’t refuse. Honestly moving to Bali was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I have a love for that majestic tropical island and those friendly people deeper than I can put into words. Those were pretty much the best six months of my entire life. I was living a complete fantasy. Riding my motorbike through tropical jungles to secluded beaches and abandoned temples popping in to five star resorts to see my model girlfriend working with a plethora of international models. Yeah, life was good. Too good…

I sold a lot of things back home to keep the adventure alive. In fact, I pretty much at that point abandoned my life at home all together. One of my biggest current grievances is if I go home, I’m going back to nothing. However, I do have my loving family and they have not deserved what I have done.

Towards our six month mark, both of our birthdays were fast approaching and she wanted to go home to celebrate. Africa seemed like a cool next adventure so I bought our tickets. A week later and week before we left, the bomb was dropped. 1 month pregnant. I can say in all honesty that my son was made out of true love, but now I know what love really is. A chemical reaction in the brain when two people want to breed and that it will inevitably fade afterwards. Hard red pill to swallow right there, but Rick and Morty nailed it.

I’ll never forget the disappointed and shattered look on my parents face when we video called to tell them. It was as if they knew, and they did, that they would never get to be a part of their grandsons life. Her parents on the other hand were ecstatic. They knew we were coming home and now she was coming home to start a family.

I never thought for a moment that I should bail and get away. Even after some fights got really ugly. More and more her behaviour started to change. She was full of this rage i had never seen before. She would scream, yell, hit herself, and come at my physically. My time spent in a military environment proved to be useful in dealing with her bullshit. I could handle it all and be relatively unfazed, which often made her lose it even more. Some part of me still thought she was a NAWALT.

As her pregnancy progressed, so did her obsession with complete totalitarian control over me. I was able to integrate into South Africa and find work with notable success. I’m doing something I love and making a positive difference in many childrens lives. I even started a business back home to further support the organization I work for and our mission. However, she belittles and resents my work at every opportunity. I’ve never cheated nor done anything of betrayal to her. The worst I’ve done is lied about smoking a joint now and then. She had a very serious smoking problem when we met that I was able to help her with. Now she thinks of me smoking on occasion with my friends or business partners as the ultimate betrayal of our relationship. I find it to be a healthier alternative to drinking, but whatever.

She births our baby boy after hours of labor, while I provided support for her the entire time. It’s quite something to go through. but holding your boy for the first time. A very inexplicable feeling indeed. Unwavering commitment and loyalty to safeguarding his health and security. This will be a big strong and smart man one day. He will do good things in the world I have no doubt and he has a good mother.

However, our incompatibility has started to weigh on us more and more heavily. She seemingly has borderline personality disorder I was unaware of. She has sought counselling in four previous relationships. AND I forgot to mention is five years older than me. Ouch. I know. Essentially, we seem to be about as compatable as Trump and Hillary. We are on the complete opposite sides of the political spectrum. She is a hardcore feminist, unable to take any red pill and I’m a steadfast conservative patriot.

So here we are now, sleeping in separate rooms, going to counselling, miserable as shit with a newborn baby who we both adore. The love, attractiveness, and relationship has dwindled into being non existent. Now I am at an awful cross roads. I want nothing more than to be apart of my boys life, but I am unable to stay in this country without getting married or paying out the ass and making numerous trips home to secure a visa. South Africa Home Affairs is actually a joke and huge money making scheme. They’ve fucked me over once already and I was forced out of the country two weeks after my baby boy was born. I know she is going to leave me inevitably for an older richer man to pay for her shit.

Has anyone been a situation like this?

I’m sick of typing now. Rant over. Feel free to ask questions. Thanks to anyone who read this and provides support.