More on LTRs | TheRedPill

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]Miguelinileugim 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Same happens with attractive women too, they can make many men do whatever they want. It goes both ways.

That's true, but that is blue pill thinking. Depending on the circumstances, it could amount to a shit test, where she (subconsciously) doesn't really want you to do what she wants, and when you do, you plummet in her view. Don't do what women want, do what you want.

True. So be the AF. It can be done in a LTR.

I'm missing something here. Can't you be kind and caring and have a stable long relationship?

LOL at that. Well, you can. But who wants a relationship that is characterized by the word "stable"? BORING.

I didn't want to get into my personal story, because then there'd be the Army of Autists and their Neckbeard Squadron to downvote to oblivion anything that sounds like a success story, but: keep in mind, I did this without thinking because this was decades before TRP, but, you can be the AF in a LTR. It seems like some kind of dogma around here that this is impossible, maybe I have a different definition or something. My wife makes more money than I do, but I'm in charge; she likes it that way. I still have the same cocky, fun attitude I had when we first got together. I'm unpredictable. And so on.

[–]Miguelinileugim 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

That's true, but that is blue pill thinking. Depending on the circumstances, it could amount to a shit test, where she (subconsciously) doesn't really want you to do what she wants, and when you do, you plummet in her view. Don't do what women want, do what you want.

Sure. But that's within the context of a relationship. If we're talking casual sex, they can simply deem you not interesting enough. I mean, if they can choose, why wouldn't they? It's basically a bidding war for the top 10% of women (in terms of physical beauty). Not for the other 90% obviously.

LOL at that. Well, you can. But who wants a relationship that is characterized by the word "stable"? BORING.

Maybe now, but when you get older I bet you'll want something a little more stable. Not marriage stable obviously, but something like years and years per relationship. Also you might want way later on to actually stick with a relationship, or have decade-long ones.

I didn't want to get into my personal story, because then there'd be the Army of Autists and their Neckbeard Squadron to downvote to oblivion anything that sounds like a success story, but: keep in mind, I did this without thinking because this was decades before TRP, but, you can be the AF in a LTR. It seems like some kind of dogma around here that this is impossible, maybe I have a different definition or something. My wife makes more money than I do, but I'm in charge; she likes it that way. I still have the same cocky, fun attitude I had when we first got together. I'm unpredictable. And so on.

Of course. You're romantic, you make her feel loved and cared for. And she's nice to you back and are able to stay in a long-term relationship. Women tend to exploit their partners when they have more to give them than viceversa. If she has beauty and you have romance you're very balanced. If you weren't that good at romance or she was ridiculously hot and took it too seriously, then she wouldn't be happy and would exploit you.

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Maybe now, but when you get older I bet you'll want something a little more stable. Not marriage stable obviously, but something like years and years per relationship. Also you might want way later on to actually stick with a relationship, or have decade-long ones.

I've been married for more than 20 years. I don't think of it as "stable" and if pressed, I'll bet she doesn't either.

Of course. You're romantic, you make her feel loved and cared for.

NOPE. Not romantic, I haven't done anything remotely romantic for my wife in many years. "Loved and cared for"? Not how I would describe it. I make her feel excited, agitated, turned on but also taken care of. I make sure shit is taken care of. Yeah, it's my job, as the man, to make sure the cars and the house are in good order. I'm also better at doing the food stuff. When she comes home from work, she doesn't want to make decisions. She can relax, look at my bod and my hairline, wonder what the fuck I was doing all day, and start thinking about getting railed. This is what I'm talking about when I say this is easy. (And yeah, I know I'm lucky, but I also make my own luck.)

[–]Miguelinileugim 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I've been married for more than 20 years. I don't think of it as "stable" and if pressed, I'll bet she doesn't either.

Well. It's technically stable, you simply spice up, a lot, way more than most people. But it's still stable.

NOPE. Not romantic, I haven't done anything remotely romantic for my wife in many years. "Loved and cared for"? Not how I would describe it. I make her feel excited, agitated, turned on but also taken care of. I make sure shit is taken care of. Yeah, it's my job, as the man, to make sure the cars and the house are in good order. I'm also better at doing the food stuff. When she comes home from work, she doesn't want to make decisions. She can relax, look at my bod and my hairline, wonder what the fuck I was doing all day, and start thinking about getting railed. This is what I'm talking about when I say this is easy. (And yeah, I know I'm lucky, but I also make my own luck.)

That's all romantic. Not in the typical "candlelight and petals" way, but it's romance, and a really good kind of it. I define romance as doing things which make her feel good or comfortable or excited or aroused or loved. So you're doing a great job at that!

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

something bad happened to you

Thing is... nothing really bad ever happened to me. No parental abuse beyond the feminised blue pill lies that we all get. No childhood catastrophes. Some mild trauma during school years, but nothing that bad really.

If I seem bitter it's because of my perpetual disappointment with women and especially the lies they all tell about themselves and their nature.

Never married so never got divorce raped. Had girlfriends, had FWB's. A few got briefly out of hand and I called the police both times, nothing bad happened to me as a result, girls can be dumb as fuck and I'm razor sharp when it counts.

My resentment towards women is that every single one has been a selfish entitled sponge who has put nothing into any form of relationship with me but has relentlessly exploited me for anything that she can, while constantly putting all responsibility for everything (including but not limited to her happiness, my happiness, the relationship, her sexual satisfaction, my sexual satisfaction, all time spent together, everything that we ever do together, her friends, my friends, everything) onto me. They want to be led, but rarely offer enough value that I can be bothered to do it.

Literally nothing has ever been the fault of any woman I've ever known, but they've relentlessly blamed me for everything they can. If they are clearly and obviously at fault, they create another argument that they hope to win. They'll continue that indefinitely until they can pin the blame for something onto me.

They have been dramatic (I walk), they've complained (I tell them to shut up), they've called my bluff on the relationship (I call it back). And yet nothing ever changes. It's always my job to do everything for them, and it always feels like I'm dragging around a puppy on a leash. And that puppy is dead.

I contrast how I am - loyal, intelligent, funny, articulate, and frankly just so god damned sexy - with how women are: reserved, shy, emotionally retarded, intellectually stunted, fundamentally dishonest and passive and manipulative.... and I'm always just so disappointed that they can't just be better. Or at least try.

I know I can't expect this, but it's still always frustrating to me that they're so useless. It's extremely unimpressive. I have no intention whatsoever to shackle myself to such a fundamentally useless creature.

I am expected to do everything for my female friends. Pick them up, show them a good time, decide what we're doing, do all the work, all the planning work, take all the social risks. And then when we're out together I get lectured on how entitled men are and how awesome and independent women are, they're just being relentlessly oppressed by men who just don't know how privileged they are. Seriously, this actually happens. I roll my eyes and ignore it, but their self centred selfish solipsistic blindness exasperates me at times. I'm down to one female friend - I keep her around as an example to remind me how awful they are in case I ever forget.

My mother has always been a fierce feminist. Rams the equality card down my neck all the fucking time... but of course absolves women of all responsibility for all their actions and blames men. Then asks me for help with something while doing nothing to benefit me whatsoever. The usual female hypocrisy.

In fact it was thanks to her that I took to TRP so easily and quickly. Her relentless "men and women are equal" made it really obvious to me just how badly women treat men they are dating. Had I assumed men and women are completely different I might never have noticed just how unequal, one sided and unfair the whole dating scene is on men. Oh but apparently it's because she's oppressed. Don't make me fucking laugh.

I've had long term relationships (up to 5 years), I've had long term FWB arrangements (again up to about 5 years). I almost never get dumped, but I rapidly get bored of them or their sponging ways or their passive aggressive bullshit, and end it with them. I get better at getting women every year, and I put up with less bullshit from them as a result. Variety is nice, drama and bullshit isn't. They try it, I ditch 'em.

They're usually surprised because they're so happy. Once again I find myself saying "But I told you X was a problem 6 months ago and again 3 months ago, and you haven't listened and nothing has changed so now I am ending it". They look at me in shock as if it simply never occurred to them that they should actually have listened or changed something. My words have always been treated as a minor glitch to be worked around. Actually listening and acting on what I say is a completely alien concept to the women I have dated. One of them literally said to me, I kid you not: "Oh, men always say that". As if it's just something men say and she can just ignore it. Ditched her on the spot.

So now I don't do it. I just have fun with them, have sex with them, and walk away when the bullshit starts. I certainly don't talk to them about anything, because I've learned how futile it is. If I have a problem I tell them what to do. If they do it fine, if not then next.

It still feels like I'm dragging a dead puppy around, but at least I get to swap it for a differently coloured puppy when I feel like it. Would be nice if just once it showed signs of life without it being deranged and psychotic though.

As regards the rest of my life - well that's beyond the scope of this TRP account ;)

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

nothing really bad ever happened to me.

and then goes on to describe how nothing good happened to him. jk

Literally nothing has ever been the fault of any woman I've ever known, but

That's the way of the world, isn't it? Why fight it? My wife is a reasonable, educated woman, and she can break her favorite antique mixing bowl while I'm in another room, and it's my fault. That really happened. I just laugh.

Actually, I didn't laugh at the time (years before TRP); I was confused, and a bit angry. But now I realize that Women are children, and children don't want to be responsible for their actions.

They have been dramatic (I walk), they've complained (I tell them to shut up), they've called my bluff on the relationship (I call it back). And yet nothing ever changes.

It was something like this in one of your recent comments; your partner had a problem, your instinct was to fix it, but instead you disappeared. That is the correct course of action, and that totally works for me, but the way you described it, it didn't work for you. That's what made me think there was more to the story.

And yet nothing ever changes. It's always my job to do everything for them, and it always feels like I'm dragging around a puppy on a leash. And that puppy is dead.

I can't argue with any of that.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

and then goes on to describe how nothing good happened to him

In terms of women, this is definitely the case. I've had many great things happen to me, and they've all been of my own doing and have never involved women. The best I've had from women is mediocrity. It's not worth committing to.

That's the way of the world, isn't it? Why fight it?

Agreed, I'm done fighting it. I never put women in a position of responsibility because I know they'll fuck it up and I know they'll blame me. Making a woman responsible is how you end a relationship with one.

she can break her favorite antique mixing bowl while I'm in another room, and it's my fault. That really happened. I just laugh.

I seriously could not bear that. I'd just walk out. This is what I mean about it being pointless to be committed to one. It's like adopting a fucking child.

your partner had a problem, your instinct was to fix it, but instead you disappeared

Yes, because talking is pointless. Women can't listen and can't change. But they're very quick to blame. I've learned that talking to women is just a long-winded way of her trying to absolve herself of all responsibility and to blame me. There's nothing of any substance, there's no accountability, truth is an inconvenience ("it's all a grey area..."), facts are there to be rationalised away. It's fucking pointless so I don't do it.

[puppy dragging]

I can't argue with any of that.

Yeah, sounds like we've come to the same conclusions but have different approaches to dealing with it.

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

she can break her favorite antique mixing bowl while I'm in another room, and it's my fault. That really happened. I just laugh.

I seriously could not bear that. I'd just walk out.

Totally agree. I've had chicks do stupid shit, and I walked, the end. I wrote a comment in another thread about ditching a chick in a foreign city just because she got an attitude about something (I was hilariously excoriated for it by some anonymous internet twat). But at that point in the current relationship it wasn't easy to do.

This is what I mean about it being pointless to be committed to one. It's like adopting a fucking child.

It is. Except for the sex.

Yes, because talking is pointless. Women can't listen and can't change.

100% true. I wasted a lot of time and energy talking before I figured this out. I let her rope-a-dope herself out with the talking years ago, and now we don't have problems anymore, it's magical.

[puppy dragging] I can't argue with any of that. Yeah, sounds like we've come to the same conclusions but have different approaches to dealing with it.

Yeah, we have.

Even though I'm talking up my marriage (and it's good, now), I still look back and try to figure out where I should have bailed, before the kids came along. There was no good point. I felt trapped for a while, but I feel good now. I STILL would not recommend marriage. But it's like when people talk about having kids IRL, I say you'll regret it either way.

[–]Miguelinileugim 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Miguelinileugim 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

It's been a pretty wide range so far... their hotness doesn't seem to make much difference, except the less hot one get super-attached.

Isn't that good? If they're attached, that means they can't play the "do stuff for me or I'll leave you" card nor coerce you in anyway. I mean they'll expect you to be romantic and stuff, but it does look like a good relationship.

Age makes a huge difference. Younger means hotter, more fun, less drama, less attachment. Older means drama, less fun, more demands, more entitlement, more attachment.

Wait, isn't it in reverse? I mean, I thought older women were mature and thus less dramatic, less demanding and less entitled. I keep hearing people complaining about young women being immature compared with older ones.

Only women would think "I'm less desirable now so I'll make up for that by demanding more and behaving worse". It's a poor deal and puts me off women over 30.

I mean, that doesn't seem right. If anything, I'd say that chances are that if a woman is still single after 30, either she's not looking or she's terrible. But that's not because women over 30 are terrible, only that the large majority which are nice are already in relationships.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Isn't that good? If they're attached, that means they can't play the "do stuff for me or I'll leave you" card

It seems to just drive the drama and entitlement.

Wait, isn't it in reverse? I mean, I thought older women were mature and thus less dramatic, less demanding and less entitled.

Have you tried both? My experience is that 25 year olds are immature but fun and exciting. Past 30 and I get "what is this? where are we going?" and demanding commitment and trying to drag me down into a life of suburban tedium. I'll take the immaturity and the sexiness anyday.

If anything, I'd say that chances are that if a woman is still single after 30, either she's not looking or she's terrible. But that's not because women over 30 are terrible, only that the large majority which are nice are already in relationships.

Except women are not monogamous, they are serial monogamists-with-overlaps

But even if it's because they're "not settled down yet" and this is skewing the statistics, so what? Still has exactly the same result for my dating strategy.

[–]Miguelinileugim 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ShakaLeonidas 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

LTRs have levels. MONO, OPEN, MONO MARRIED, OPEN MARRIED, FWB etc and they are just a title attributed to an expected association. The primary gripe in the manosphere and the most common fallacy in some cultures is that the expectations of the associations are parasitic, broken or unhealthy. The primary cause for the disconnect is male female relations that are in contention with naturaul order and improper allocations of power in intetsexual gender dynamics. Basically the culture.

If men didn't carry the heaviest social and economic penalties for sexual relationships AFTER the consensual sex occurs, no one would give a fuck what a girl did with her self.

Mono LTRs have pros and cons just like any other sexual strategy. The pros are not expectations based in blue pill idealism. There are no unicorns. Just plow mules, quater horses and thoroughbreds. They can all get fucked by the neighbors stud or run out the stable. TRP is just a philoshphy with a tons of wordly experience , scientific data and offers altetnative plans that have varying levels of succes per individual. All in all there is consistently some form of success to be garnerd from it.

One thing remains true to remember as to not stumble back into the situation that led you to the redpill (because the only way to get here is because of a life alerting glitch in the matrix) AWALT. ALL women are not good at it. ALL women don't have the same freedoms or access but AWALT.

[–]guyinokc 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, I dont think you know what youre talking about. Take it from a someone

Go ahead and tell me, I'm taking you seriously.

who started alpha and sliiped toward beta in the realtionship and lost his wife for no reason after 12 years.

I'm not going to automatically make the connection between you exhibiting beta qualities and losing your wife like a lot of guys on here would, because it's not that simple. But you tell me about it.

You need to work every week to keep a woman. The better they are the more options they have... at least 'til theyre 35.

One of my points was you don't need to work on the relationship, you need to work on yourself to keep the woman, and you should be working on yourself no matter what. So there really shouldn't be all this extra work that people seem to expect.

Also, coreect me if im wrong, but TRP is not a strategy to get sex, it is an approach to life.

Says it right there at the top of the sidebar.

[–]guyinokc 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]guyinokc 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]5whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]EkMard 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	More on LTRs
Author	whatsthisgarg
Upvotes	17
Comments	27
Date	November 29, 2016 5:16 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5fguky/more_on_ltrs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/more-on-ltrs.64890 https://theredarchive.com/post/64890