I've been following redpill material for many months [almost a year] even though there's seemingly no reason to. I think it's because of helping me understand female nature and understand how I fit in the game.

I am short (5'4) objectively ugly facial structure, paraplegic, make very little income and live in a third world country. Before I was paraplegic I was actually pretty athletic, but now even that's locked down the dumpster because of my condition. I see zero point in improving outside of financially seeing how insane modern hypergamous behaviour among women my age is. Will I always remain at best a beta provider? I haven't got a single choosing signal, ever. I remember vague examples of choosing signals before my physical impotency. It seems will never ever be alpha, no woman will desire me no matter how much my ugly ass tries to self improve.