Here's some back story. I dated a girl for 4 years (18-21 years old). I am now 22. We had a good relationship but I was still blue-pilled and took a lot of shit I shouldn't have. She broke up with me this time last year, and that is when I found the pill. Since then, I've put a lot of things in place and became a much better man. I lift regularly, try to be as social as I can, and have a good job and a degree with no debt. Everything is seemingly in check.

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I don't want to get into the relationship too much because it's probably not relevant for this conversation, but as I said earlier she broke up with me this time last year. She was confident in her decision for the first few months, but then started coming back to me and doing extremely nice gestures to show her interest in getting back together (buying me concert tickets, headphones, offering me to go to disney with their family). She realized she had fucked up and was trying to make things right. I didn't lead her on, just told her that I simply don't want to go back and that everything hurt me a lot.

Fast forward to now, with my 3 plates in stagnant mode because of the quarantine, I've had a lot of time to think. And I've been missing my ex. I texted her to see what she was up to, and then we talked on the phone. She was nice and not a bitch at all, but she's talking to someone else now, and for some reason it is making me so fucking anxious and shit. I am wondering if I made the right decision to not get back together with her, just overthinking everything. I know this sounds like serious blue-pilled shit, but you should've seen me last year. I've came a really long way, and this is the first setback I've had. With the quarantine, I've been trying to stay busy and active, but it's hard. I think that's part of why this is harder. But I'm really fucking struggling with the fact she's seeing someone else now. I always thought I could have her back whenever I wanted, and now that power is seemingly gone. The relationship wasn't even perfect and we had our problems, but for some reason my brain is trying to convince me that I am the biggest fool for not taking her back. I need some help processing these thoughts and getting back on track. This was the only relationship I have ever been in, and she hadn't been talking to or seeing anyone else since this, so it's all fresh to me. Thanks.