Hello TRP, I posted here about my experience as I continue to work on improving myself. Well, today I can't help but feel like I am failing. Here is why, there is this woman (lets's call her Jane) that works at the daycare where my kid goes. I first realized that I am attracted to her perhaps 6 months ago. I brushed it off with the hope that if I focus on other opportunities, then that would be the best way to drown my lust for Jane.

Anyway, I still find myself thinking about her every once in a while especially when I see her. I would say that I see her 3 maybe 4 times a week and we have exchanged nothing more than courteous pleasantries and small talk a handful of times.

Anyway, today I realized that I am still a pussy BP. Here is why.

Today as I drop off my kid, I wanted to ensure that some paperwork that I had requested got emailed to me today.

No big deal.

I start heading down the hallway to the office (Its important that I mention at this point I am the only one in the hallway). Then lo and behold a door opens and Jane steps out into the hallway and starts heading my way. So now its just Jane and I in this hallway walking towards each other.

Of course I acknowledge her and say hello right as we reach other. At this point I quickly switch in to red pill mode (or try to practice what I have learned here so far).

After the quick hello, Jane starts heading to where she is going, but I changed my stance (body language) to indicate that I want to talk to her some more. Jane picked this up and complied with her body and turned to face me again. At this point I am amazed that it worked but I refocus on the game. I begin to ramble and ask her how her holiday shopping is going , and Jane is receptive because we chat about this for about 2 minutes.

While she is rambling on, my mind is in overdrive trying to figure out how I can ask for her phone number and I just imploded. My mind kept telling me just do it and don't think about it (classic RP tenet). However, the BP mind in me kept trying to justify why I should not, e.g. she is at work and she could get in trouble, or what is the policy around a parent going after an employee.

My BP mind won this battle and I ended the conversation by wishing her a happy holiday and walking away. I did not want to waste time hamstering with her because, as far as I was concerned, the mission was aborted so there was no need to waste anymore of my time talking to Jane.

However, this left me feeling shit. I was unable to take what I have learned here and put it to practice. I am now sitting here with regret when I would rather have had a rejection at the very least.

I still will be seeing Jane for the next 7 months but I am not sure if I should go ahead. I'm afraid that I already have a severe case of oneitis (its a problem if I am writing about it) which I do not want. What should I do? How can I overcome this? How do I proceed with Jane?