Please heed these WARNING signs. This is how it goes down in these "leading you on/using you" type of situations (or some variation of this scenario, give or take a few of these steps), if you let it happen:

  1. Woman flirts with you enough times to the point where it becomes obvious
  2. You ask the woman out
  3. Woman gradually loses interest, but she deliberately keeps this fact VAGUE in order to give you HOPE and continue leading you on. This could be in the form of her flirting/complimenting you and giving you mixed messages. The effects of this are insidious, since the guy may like the woman and overlook what is going on.
  4. Woman does not immediately reject you until you've taken her out enough times, she gets bored, or she finds another guy in her life. You are essentially a layover. She may give you vague responses or avoid the conversation.
  5. Gaslighting: When she finally does reject you, she will say I thought we were friends and then deny any time before where you explicitly showed interest verbally or physically (or when she showed interest), as if it never happened. This is the definition of gaslighting:implanting a false narrative in your mind, making you seem like the crazy/insecure one, while she is the victim.
  6. Flipping the script: She will make it seem like you sprung this idea of liking her out of nowhere and that it's the first time she heard about it, when she knows this is not true. She accuses you of not being forward and direct to state your intentions early (even though you did:see step 2), implying that you wasted your own time and are too naive to not pick up on the signs of disinterest. Here is the genius of this tactic: it shames you for lack of confidence, gives her an ego boost by rejecting you, and MOST importantly relieves her of ANY responsibility of using you by feigning ignorance. This is all to distract you from the fact that she wasted YOUR time, rather than the other way around. Feigning ignorance allows her to mentally justify her actions as valid, wash her hands of any wrongdoing, and gives her the motivation to keep repeating this cycle
  7. Rinse and repeat and on to the next sucker. In the end she got what she wanted: free attention, ego boost, and a boyfriend experience without needing to care or invest anything. They could easily reject you at the first sign you show interest, but they CHOOSE not to. The rejection is not the problem, it's using you, lying, and prolonging the situation that is. Don't waste your time with these women and cut contact the minute you see these signs

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TLDR; the steps women take to use you and lead you on