Backstory: This happened roughly a year ago. Was a mid-twenty virgin. Had upped my SMV 2-3 points by getting fit, being extremely social, fixing haircut and clothes. Had a red pilled worldview and was reading TRP for about 2 years at that point but wasn't completely redpilled in practice (still am not). Was also desperate to get laid and had never put my dick inside a vagina.

Cue this cute bookworm virgin in her early twenties who decides to hit on me. Talk turns to date. 2nd date onwards we're making out heavy. Find out she is a virgin and has to move out of the country in a few months. Fucking great I think, sex with an expiry date on the whole arrangement and none of the break up drama but since she's a virgin I expect she'll have her qualms about sex.

Right from day one, I am aware that all I want out of this deal is sex but because she is a virgin, overly emotional and I'm super scarce on pussy and any female company (wasnt on dating apps + zero cold approaching), we have a regular relationship where we met alternatively for making out versus meeting out for doing fun things we both genuinely enjoyed and had a common interest for.

Soon the whole thing turns into a rollercoaster of highs and lows. At one moment we'd be ecstatic over a poetry she wrote for me or tell me how good she felt when I took her some place and at next moment we'd be fighting over something that she misinterpreted on text. She was genuinely wonderful but she had issues too. She'd go out of her way to make me feel special, treated me like I turned water into wine for her, would handcraft gifts, write blogs for me, send cute videos of her to me, bake things for me but we had weekly fights which kept getting worse and worse too over petty things.

Fast forward a few months and we have strong oneitis for each other and its bad. She has to leave and its time for us to end things and both of us are devastated and crying. Fast forward 6 months more, she is out of the country and she hits clinical depression for the first time in her life and I am extremely mindfucked too. I eventually sleep with few other girls and have them on a rotation basis, lift daily and did a lot of travel too but up until Feb I couldn't stop thinking of all the good memories me and the first girl spent together and call me a pussy cause I sound like one now but I'm damn near into tears every time I think of her in those few months after the separation. What prompted me to make this post is even now, nearly a year after her moving out, anything that triggers a memory of her, make me remember of all our memories and makes me feel low.

Looking back now, I don't know if agreeing to do fun couple shit was a big blunder on my part or not and thats what I have come here ask you guys. I know I fucked up plenty and I should have avoid marathon texting sessions, shouldn't had prioritized her over my bigger goals, didn't spin plates etc. All fair and agreed and are being worked on.

But my question for now is, should I actively avoid doing fun things outside of the bedroom with women henceforth? Is avoiding oneitis one of the reasons why a lot of men here prefer the plate system where they only call over the girl for sex? On dates, I only did things I genuinely enjoyed with her but should I had also avoided that or avoid that now with my current plates whom I dont see a longterm future with? Did it affect me so much because she was my first girl and she was an overly emotional person? For those who do hang out with your girls doing fun shit how do you prevent falling for them emotionally?

Would appreciate some advice on the thing. Thank you