Two recent incidents with some longer term plates (6 months) have really shaken me. I wanted to get some advice on how to handle these situations and where I went wrong.

First Plate.) Normally comes over Friday around 8. She text me she was going to be late because she wanted to rest a bit because work was hard. I said no biggie as I had some work to finish. Then she continues texting excuses for why she can't come anymore (on her period, too tired, not feeling well). So I video call her right after her last text and she doesn't answer, then she calls back a few minutes later from the bathroom and I'm like what the fuck.

She admits that she has a male coworker over (at her house alone) to drink because she got in trouble at work or some shit. I completely lost it and flipped my shit and told her if she didn't leave right now that we were done (and meant it). It felt so disrespectful. She was super defensive that he was just a friend and he was too short for her and all kind of shit, but I told her that's not even what I cared about, it was her lying and spending time with someone else during our time.

I fucked the shit out of her the next 2 days but I never recovered mentally and ended up hard nexting her the next week because the entire situation made me lose control.

2.) So this plate lives 45 minutes away and we alternate driving. She texts me 15 minutes before I'm to arrive and said she had to go to the dentist and would be 30 minutes late. I'm a bit pissed because she had to have known she was going to the dentist, but I say ok no biggie I'll grab some coffee.

45 minutes go by and nothing from her. I text her and call and she doesn't answer. She texts back 30 minutes later that she's sorry and he did more work than she thought but she's on her way. I video call her and she declines. I'm now mentally shook but we meetup anyways.

Long story short her mouth smelled like other dick and her pussy smelled and was dry and looked stretched out. Mid sex I just lost my boner and went full beta. I told her her pussy smells like a condom and her mouth smells like dick. I then ask her why she couldn't text me she was running late or why she didn't respond to my calls (they don't take your phone at the dentist). She said she couldn't use her phone because he was in her mouth the whole time (1 hour) which is just BS.

Eventually she broke and cracked a smile I'll never forget and told me that she met a guy and things escalated and they banged twice and second time took longer than she thought. She said we aren't exclusive so what's the big deal. But again it's the spending time with someone else during our time deal. Not to mention fucking someone before and not even washing. It's just unfathomable to me.

Questions:

a.) Is anger here ok or is that just losing frame and how is it losing frame? What's the correct response?

b ) Was hard next the right call or should I have not cared and continued to fuck them. It seems putting up with that behavior, even from plates, will just invite more of it.

c.) What's up with the girl telling me the coworker was short and she wasn't attracted to him? She showed me pics and he's definitely below me in SMV so I'm not sure what to think. I mean they had to be fucking right? Otherwise why would you ditch your date.

d.) How the fuck do you even handle these situations mentally and bounce back? I know it's just my turn etc, but it's just the disrespect. Really crushes your ego to think how little someone must care about you to treat you like that.