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How do I get out of a creepy emotional relationship with my boss that I initially participated in, before I can find another job?

Toolate2008

April 28, 2020

15 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information

Title	How do I get out of a creepy emotional relationship with my boss that I initially participated in, before I can find another job?
Author	Toolate2008
Upvotes	15
Comments	2
Date	April 28, 2020 11:22 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g9lfzt/how_do_i_get_out_of_a_creepy_emotional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-i-get-out-of-a-creepy-emotional.677388 https://theredarchive.com/post/677388

Comments

[–]PhospholipidBFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Make yourself so strong, self confident, and aware that you feel nothing when he tries his manipulative tricks. He can't upset you if he is irrelevant and his comments are just noise to be ignored. He really is pathetic. He has no real power besides trying to get you fired, and your company HR and/or your state laws may offer some protection. You could ask on /r/legaladvice for a sense what your rights are

I don't know what your working situation is like. I personally wouldn't want to stir up conflict, especially with a man like that who is used to getting his way. If he asks to do something after work, politely excuse yourself. I wouldn't directly tell him to F off. Be extra busy at your job so there isnt an opportunity for chatting. He's smart enough to manipulate so he may be smart enough to know you could embarrass him or get him in trouble at work if you went public. Therefore one would hope he wouldn't pester you too much once you completely stop showing him any interest

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, next time he starts talking about personal things I’ll just act like I have a lot of work. I’ve done that in the past in person but have slipped and more so during quarantine. He rides a fine line.

There’s nothing I can do formally, because my position depends on him to some extent, so for example I can’t say I don’t want to work with him or make a formal complaint. And that is how this has been going on for who knows how long. His current assistant was the first I learned of, and according to him this was a shock. Then I learned about two other young women he’s hung out with or had “friendly” personal relationships with after they left the company. I’ve talked to both and one of the women still had feelings and was trying to see him again, and she gaslighted me lol. He also left his previous company quickly, and has mentioned he had “gender issues” there. Although he claims he left because of a supervisor and that when pressed, the “gender issues” were due to another mans mistreatment of women, it’s hard not to suspect he’s had this same intense pattern for years.