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cuppycake_gumdrop
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is a LV comment but to be fair she DID choose him and it took until writing the damn reddit post for her to realize that he had no redeeming qualities. She gave hime wayyyyy too many chances and she is still looking for external validation to make the decision to break up with him
[–]Sekina7FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seriously he sounds like SUCH a catch 🙄...
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Wow this is depressing. The least he could do was pay for their cheap take out dates! Damn! What was it about him that made her smile and feel light/loved again!? eyeroll
Sounds like she’s been lonely/isolated due to being a caregiver and she was just happy for any attention & to get away from her own living situation. Because there’s nothing cute or loving about this man! This is a man child. I’m willing to bet she’s a caretaker type. Possibly a nurse (as her username suggests). There’s some co-dependency there with her for sure. I wonder what her mom’s illness is and if her mom is just using her. Caretaker/codependent daughter usually has a narcissistic mother! Ask me how I know! The signs are all there - just reading between the lines and speculating, obviously. It’s possible her mom is genuinely ill but the way she talks about that whole situation has my spidey senses tingling!
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girl you're spot on. That's what I read as well. I feel like that was me, except my ex had his own place, decent job, but was abusive.
I feel isolated. I'd describe my mother the same way. I graduated college last summer and I live at home and I feel like a caregiver. I don't share the majority of financial responsibility, but I pay for a good portion of things. Her health is declining and it's issues she could fix of she were more active.
When I was a junior/senior in college, I mentioned moving out on my own, but she always mocked me. And then she's suddenly needing the ambulance or something else.
Since realizing her abuse, I've stopped my unhealthy coping mechanisms, but the guilt of her health is irritating because I'm all she has.
[–]Nurseyp000 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I really don’t know what it was about him. Even now I’m finding it hard to reflect and see what it is.
We did have good moments but they were far and few between
We also both lived a very different lifestyle. I workout 6-7 days a week. He definitely didn’t and was ok with living a very sedentary life after work.... beers... chips etc. We just have never matched. So people who knew me thought I was crazy for dating someone like him.
At the beginning, I didn’t mind his lack of relationship experience until it was apparent it also contributed to his lack of common sense. He was very cheap, selfish and inconsiderate
He lacked communication skills... any time I tried to communicate the relationships issues to him he took it as we were fighting.
In the end he didn’t really bring anything to my life. I was the same without him. A waste of time :(
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for your response. I hope you didn't feel like I was criticizing you. It's just that I saw a lot of the old me in your post (that I'm still trying to shed) and perhaps I'm projecting.
These type of men, in my experience, are just selfish and lazy. And they will give you that old excuse that they "lack relationship experience." I made a lot of excuses for men like this in my 20s and wasted A LOT of time. I look back on that now with a lot of sorrow. I was detached from my needs/wants. I was also groomed by my parents to be a caretaker and abandon myself. I didn't have my own back and I certainly didn't respect myself. I felt like I wasn't worthy of love and respect. I gave my time and energy away for breadcrumbs. When you're starving, you chase breadcrumbs because what else do you have?
You seem like someone who has your shit together. You just need to believe that you deserve more, and these type of men will just naturally fall off your radar!
[–]FURYOFCAPSLOCKFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Guys that still live like a child, expect you to treat them like they are your child. The entitlement.
[–]WillowSageFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This sounds like a guy I used to date. No responsibilities, no experience whatsoever. You deserve better girl, he sounds like a lazy irresponsible person.
[–]Nurseyp000 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow 😭
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[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sekina7FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nurseyp000 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FURYOFCAPSLOCKFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WillowSageFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nurseyp000 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link