Hello ladies!
As per title, I ghosted and blocked everywhere a LVM I've been dating for the last few weeks. A cheap, obnoxious, poliamorous (of course...and I suspect he said that in the hope I would compete over his dusty ass), just overall tragic guy. I had this strong gut feeling from day 1, and I thought and feared that the full quarantine in my country was going to make me feel like I had to give him a chance because I was already dating him and he's really interesting and I would feel lonely and...well no. If else it made me realize how much my life is peaceful (which I value more than "happy") and I don't need a man to bring problems.

One thing I learned is: if he's making you feel stupid, inadequate, if he makes you feel like you have to shrink yourself to be in his presence, if he makes you feel insecure about talking in front of others or lowering your beautiful gaze, even if you can't tackle the one sentence he said or the one thing he did to make you feel like this, he REALLY IS gaslighting you. Gaslighting is all about making you feel your reaction was exaggerated, your feelings are messed up, your perceptions are wrong, and he's being perfectly honest and clear (something even saying things in your own interest).

I tried to one up and outsmart him, mirroring, etc. but I only gave him the chance to play the victim, or to appear insecure myself. Plus, when you feel you are always in the wrong, there's no way you can communicate honestly and be your best self. The one that engages in those games is NOT your best self. None of this really works, you have to leave. Otherwise he'll just come back to dishonestly tell you all that you want to listen to get into your panties or play his stupid games. And even if his intentions and motives SOUND right and reasonable (as his did), it's this modality, these mind games that are not ok and reveal a bigger issue which you may have not identified yet. So please don't engage. Listen to your gut, even if you can't give yourself a clear explanation of why are you feeling like this.

Gaslighting is all about making you feel like you're the problem: you're too emotional, you aren't considering his efforts and so on. We as girls are socialized to feel like this, that if we FEEL something's wrong then WE are wrong. It'a automatic. That we deserved all the shit and we also have to take care of it and save the day for everyone, even when it wasn't our responsibility to begin with. We've been taught that if we're too powerful or intimidating then we have to lower and humble ourselves or we'll never find a man to love us (like it's the only goal we shall have in life).
I read the posts about taking screens of explanations given to men: well, this is exactly what I'm not trying to do anymore. It's hard for me because I grew up feeling misunderstood, and I always feel the need to explain myself. Not this time. I tried with him, of course, because this is automatic for me and it takes work to not feel this urge. Guess what? Nothing changed, maybe it even worsened because you can fall into passive-aggressive communication which I despise. I also hate the thought to have possibly given him something to rub into my face (eg. "You were rude that time"). I'm not a teacher, I'm sure not a therapist, I'm not a mother. He's not entitled to an explanation. If you girls find out that you are being rude, passive-aggressive, sad, angry, etc. then it's not the right person and it's not the right relationship. They are forcing you to react this way and you don't want to feel this way, right?

Please unleash your power and be unapologetic, it feels GREAT. I cannot thank this community enough.
Also if you could recommend a series/movie to indulge on, with FDS principles portrayed, I'd be really grateful. The quarantine won't make us lower our standards, stay strong!