This is tremendous to me and I just need help and support with this extremely personal situation

I took it too far with a LVM coworker at a party (I know, it was building up for months, please don't judge). When he asked for consent and I said no he wasn't aggressive and it surprised me

I went home and cried a lot because I realized how things should be and that even though this person is so flawed, he still treated me better than anyone I've ever been with.

My last experience ended up becoming a ptsd diagnosis and I haven't been intimate since that time 3 years ago. Before that I've been with people who demand sex and I'm just realizing that's not normal

I went back to therapy. I created online dating profiles. But I can't believe this is what its supposed to be like and that my reality has been so terrible.

I just can't believe 1 in 6 women gets raped and has this experience. How could it be ????