Background story: I’ve been controlled and manipulated by my narcissistic ex in the past. Took me a few years to recover from the trauma he caused.

I met this guy (let’s call him Ben) that seemed truly great. Charming, kind, helpful ect. However for some reason I felt he would be trouble and was not sure about him. He was quick to open up about personal things of what happened in his past and his dealing with trust issues, which I could relate to on a deep level. That was the initial reason why I decided to trust him and let my guard down.

At first I thought of us as strictly a platonic friendship and nothing more, but it was shown Ben liked me more. He didn’t classify we were just friends so I just went with it not really thinking twice. Over a short amount of time we got more closer. He broke the touch barrier, lean close to me, pull me in for tight hugs ect. He acted very intimate for just a being a ‘friend’. So he would he initiate all of this and I did it back to him. Of course I started to develop feelings for Ben.

As time went on, I noticed things started to unravel in a rapid rate. He would get annoyed if I spoke to my guy friends and act cold. There was a situation where I was quieter than usual (because I wasn’t feeling well). He verbally made it clear how he was agitated. So I apologised to him and he said it was all good.

When we next saw each other I person, he would normally come up to me but he just kept glancing over at me. From that I got the understanding that maybe he wanted to talk, so I tried to make conversation with him but he didn’t seem interested and cut the conversation short by facing his back to me talking to other people like I wasn’t even there.

Since then it deteriorated further. Ben stopped coming up to speak to me or make any sort of contact what so ever. Acting cold out of no where. For example he would talk to everyone else but miss me out purposely. It was turning very one sided. He would repeatedly treat me the same way and still no effort. He was very distant. It was hurting me and draining me emotionally. I would feel so stressed and anxious. I finally to asked him what are we and he stated we were just ‘good friends’.

He wasn’t even giving me any sort of respect or care about our friendship. I finally stopped putting in all the effort and focus on those who do. When we next crossed paths, I was respectful and made casual talk like I did with everyone else, nothing more. Later on in the day, for the first time in weeks of him blanking me, he said “Hello and bye”. He keeps standing near to where I am, glancing over at me, looking very rather annoyed. I just ignore it.

I wanted to know of how out of no where he became so cold and disrespectful? If I had come across this sub reddit sooner, I would have stopped whatever was going on between us more quickly that I did. I will be learning not to make the same mistakes and be more cautious.