Ok this is a weird thought and maybe I'm alone on this. But it's just how it seems.

Anecdotal but there are three exes in my life that I've been truly in love with and consider to be good people. All three had women in their lives who were VERY influencial on them

The first, had an awesome mom. I'm talking not normal level awesome. Like once in a lifetime deeply beautiful in every way, funny charming lovely person sort of awesome. After getting to know her I realized that all the things I loved about HIM we're qualities from his mom (the charming, unique way they'd carry themselves, the identical sense of humor, the same philosophical ideologies, the same mannerisms, I mean it was uncanny...) I liked her more than him.

Next guy had an older sister who passed away a few years before i had met him. He had the most interesting tastes in things. The music he exposed me to, the art he kept, the private spots in nature. Everything was so different and interesting and amazing. As silly as it sounds his sense of taste is what made fall so hard for him. Anyway I pretty quickly found out that all of those things were things his sister had exposed him to and i mean EVERYTHING. I had never met her but she had the most fall-in-lovable tastes in things. He was such an interesting and fun person, which he himself attributed to his sister. And from what I saw, I believe it.

My last bf had married in high school and they split in their 20s. I never met her when he and I were together but I just met her recently and what do you know....she is awesome lol same story...in retrospect I now feel like a lot of his more interesting perspectives, hobbies and tastes originated with her.

On the flip side, the men I've dated who were absolute TRASH happened to have bad women in their lives....manipulative mothers, women (mom's/exes) that babied them, female "best friends" who "just don't get along with women", etc etc etc

I grew up hearing that I should pay attention to a guys DAD bc he will end up like his dad. But now I'm like...idk. that seems like outdated misleading advice. Right??? I kind of think you should look at the women in his life. Who has the biggest female role in his life? His mom? Sister? Aunt? Gram? What is she like? what kind of person is she/what type of guidance does she give him?

But maybe I'm wrong? Does anyone here pay close attention to a guy's mom/female figures in his life? I just feel like women have a way of shaping men.